If 90s Pop/Rock Lyrics Were Book Blurbs, Vol. 2

Rebecca Joines Schinsky

Chief of Staff

Rebecca Joines Schinsky is the executive director of product and ecommerce at Riot New Media Group. She co-hosts All the Books! and the Book Riot Podcast. Follow her on Twitter: @rebeccaschinsky.

Grab your Hypercolor t-shirt, dial into Pop-Up Video, and hop back into the Wayback Machine for another adventure in Fun With Book Blurbs. (Miss Volume 1? Here you go!)

The Great Gatsby

All at once you look across a crowded room and see the way that light attaches to a girl.

(Counting Crows, “Long December”)


I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

I’m not gonna lie. I’ll not be a gentleman.

(Toadies, “Possum Kingdom”)


How to Be a Domestic Goddess by Nigella Lawson

She dreams a champagne dream, strawberry surprise, pink linen and white paper. Lavender and cream, fields of butterflies, reality escapes her.

(Fuel, “Shimmer”)


Fight Club

Who’s that casting devious stares in my direction? Mama, this surely is a dream.

(Marcy Playground, “Sex and Candy”)


Every Book About Existentialism Ever

You may ask yourself, what is that beautiful house? You may ask yourself, where does that highway lead to? You may ask yourself, am I right, am I wrong? You may say to yourself, my god, what have I done? 

(Talking Heads, “Once In a Lifetime”)


Religion for Atheists by Alain de Botton

Believe in me. Help me believe in anything ‘cause I wanna be someone who believes. 

(Counting Crows, “Mr. Jones”)


On Eddie and Marion’s Relationship in A Widow for One Year

Fingertips have memories, mine can’t forget the curves of your body, and when I feel a bit naughty, I run it up the flagpole and see. 

(Harvey Danger, “Flagpole Sitta”)


The Adventures of Robin Hood

I don’t mind stealing bread from the mouths of decadence.

(Temple of the Dog, “Hunger Strike”)


The Unnamed

I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more.

(The Proclaimers, “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)”)


Giovanni’s Room

I say my hell is the closet I’m stuck inside.

(Dave Matthews Band, “So Much to Say”)


Million Dollar Baby

I get knocked down, but I get up again. Nothing ever gonna keep me down.

(Chumbawamba, “Tubthumping”)



I’ve been a bad, bad girl. I’ve been careless with a delicate man. And it’s a sad, sad world when a girl will break a boy just because she can.

(Fiona Apple, “Criminal”)


The Love of the Last Tycoon by F. Scott Fitzgerald

This ain’t no disco. It ain’t no country club, either. This is L.A.

(Sheryl Crow, “All I Wanna Do”)


Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey

The only thing I’ll ever ask of you, you gotta promise not to stop when I say when.

(Foo Fighters, “Everlong”)


Girl, Interrupted

She’ll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain. She’ll make you live her crazy life, and she’ll take away your pain…like a bullet to your brain. 

(Ricky Martin, “Livin’ La Vida Loca”)


The Yellow Wallpaper

My loneliness is killing me, and I must confess I still believe. When I’m not with you, I lose my mind. 

(Britney Spears, “…Baby One More Time”)


The Latest Hot Work of Teen Angst

I wanna publish zines, and rage against machines. I wanna pierce my tongue–it doesn’t hurt it feels fine. 

(Harvey Danger, “Flagpole Sitta”)


Breaking Dawn

Keeping my eyes open, I cannot afford to sleep. Giving away promises I know that I can’t keep. Nothing fills the blackness that has seeped into my chest. I need you in my blood. I am forsaking all the rest, just to reach you.

(Melissa Etheridge, “Come to My Window”)


High Fidelity

You’re gonna go to the record store. You’re gonna give ‘em all your money.

(Reel Big Fish, “Sellout”)


Ron Jeremy: The Hardest Working Man in Showbiz

She saw his package. From what I know, she said, ‘That looks like a tube of cookie dough.’

(Goldfinger, “Mable”)