Book Fetish

The Perfect Goods and Gifts for Grammar Nerds

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Kelly Jensen


Kelly is a former librarian and a long-time blogger at STACKED. She's the editor/author of (DON'T) CALL ME CRAZY: 33 VOICES START THE CONVERSATION ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH and the editor/author of HERE WE ARE: FEMINISM FOR THE REAL WORLD. Her next book, BODY TALK, will publish in Fall 2020. Follow her on Instagram @heykellyjensen.

There’s privilege and supremacy in proper grammar. Grammar is, like so many other things, a construct and human-made, meaning that it isn’t meant to be forever static. It’s dynamic and shifts and changes as we better understand communication and when we accept that English is varied, is imperfect, and is a challenging language to learn, whether it’s our native tongue or not.

That said, being nerdy about grammar — as opposed to judgmental about it — is fun. I love nerding out about things like semicolons, about the serial/Oxford comma, parallel construction, and more. I’ve even got an ampersand tattoo, symbolic because I love what it looks like, what it stands for, and what it means for me as a writer (I won’t go into the history of the ampersand, which I’ve already covered).

Find below a collection of goods and gifts for grammar nerds. There will be no shame-inducing goods here — no, being a stickler for grammar is not akin to a group known for genocide and no, you’re not superior for being aware of certain rules that really and truly do not matter. Instead, this is about the joy of grammar and the beauty of symbols associated with it.

(And for what it’s worth, I know grammar and punctuation are two different things, but I’m marrying them under the singular “grammar” umbrella).

Gifts for Grammar Lovers

Image of a sticker in the shape of a comma on a tree. It reads "team oxford comma."

Do you give a fuck about an Oxford comma? Join the team with this sticker. $4

Image of a black t-shirt with the Star wars font reading "Meta Phors be with you."

This shirt is dedicated to all of the grammar-loving Star Wars nerds among us. $15 and up.

Image of five pencils in a rainbow of colors. Each has grammatical homophones on them like "two, too, and to."

I love when a troll says something like “your dumb” and I can relish in it. Alas, if you like grammar homophones, this pencil set is your jam. $9 for the set.

A bright blue print with white text. It features parts of speech.

I consider myself decent with grammar, but this chart of grammar etymology and pieces is pretty…and pretty above my head. But I love how it looks and it’d be cool in a classroom or office. $150 and up, depending on size.

A white woman wearing a white shirt. It has 5 green commas, followed by a chameleon.

Sorry about the earworm you just got from this comma chameleon T-shirt. $25 and up.

Set of two enamel pins. One is of the Oxford comma and one is a heart with the word grammar inside. Both are black with white font.

This set of enamel pins lets you cheer the serial comma and grammar more broadly. $17.

Image of a white mug. It has a comma with the speech bubble above it "wait," and the comma is in conversation with a question mark with the speech bubble "what?"

The best part of this incredible grammar mug is that neither of the punctuation marks have ears, either. $17 and up, depending on size.

Gray t-shirt with an owl in the center. The owl's speech bubble reads "whom."

Whom cooks for you? Whom cooks for you all? This owl shirt is a hoot. $25.

A pewter question mark pin on a background made of black with white chalk question marks.

If you wear a question mark pin, will people ask you questions all day? There’s only one way to find out. $10 and up.

Four prints -- yellow, orange, blue, and green -- that each feature a punctuation mark and its meaning.

These downloadable punctuation prints are a little snarky but also super fun. $5.

Small gold earrings in shape of question mark and exclamation mark. They're on a white hand.

These teeny tiny little punctuation mark earrings are fun. $18 and up.

Image of a print featuring punctuation marks in browns, pinks, and golds.

I’m here for the mod style punctuation print. This downloadable is $4.

Image of a white hand holding a white sticker in front of a purple background. The sticker reads "period."

Punctuate your notebooks or water bottles with a period. sticker. $4

A silver cuff bracelet with punctuation marks

Wear your love for punctuation with this adjustable cuff bracelet. $15.

A print of inside a coffee shop. It's cream colored and reads "Past, Present, and Future walked into a shop together. It was tense."

One of the reasons grammar is so fun is that it’s packed with punny opportunities like the one in this downloadable print. $2

Want more? Dig into these old school library due date card goods, and then decide whether or not you agree with our ranking of English grammar punctuation.