I would apologize for the dog collar puns in this title, but dogs are great and everything about them is great, even puns. I myself have two lovely dogs. There’s Maud, the dog who likes to eat my books, an adolescent Bernedoodle who does not experience fear. So much so that she just sleeps on her back, legs spread, belly exposed for predators to rip apart. Because she doesn’t know about predators, only about good things in the world! She’s my sweet girl.
Then there’s my Fiddle dog, who is not made out of a fiddle nor does he look like a fiddle — he actually kind of looks like a creature Jim Henson would have created à la the original Dark Crystal series. My Fiddle dog also does not play the fiddle. I just called him a fiddle dog for no reason, other than that his name is Fiddle. He’s my best good boy. You can see a few pictures of him in my article You Can Do It! (If You Want To): An Introvert’s Guide To Joining A Book Club. Obvious article for several pictures of a dog, right? Not really, but I contain multitudes, what can I say.
As good dog owners, there are several things we must do. Feed our dogs and then clean up the waste that results from that feeding. Keep things like mouthguard hidden so our dogs don’t eat them (I have historically not been great at this, I know, it’s dangerous, don’t worry, I have a new plan that’s working). And keep our dogs on leashes when we take them for a stroll.
But before I can leash-em-up, I’ve got to collar them up. And so, finally, we behold: bookish dog collars for your favorite (or least favorite, I don’t know) bow wow friends.
Right out out of the gate we’ve got an incredible contender for best dog collar of all time. Cleverly referred to by the maker as Old Books Dog Collar, you can choose from several buckle/no buckle styles. Starting at $16.
You’d think a bookworm dog collar would have some kind of worm on it, right? This one does not seem to, though it could be a worm experienced in hiding. It does have many size options and three background color options: black, blue, and red. Starting at $10.
This light blue book lover collar keeps it simple with single books, double books, triple books, and even a book or two that’s fluttering open. Choose from dog and cat collars. Starting at $20.
Now this is a bookworm dog collar! Not only does it have a worm, it has a worm with glasses. Everyone knows that glasses are the universal sign for “this thing can read!” This adjustable dog collar starts at $14.
Am I obsessed with worms? I think I might be obsessed with worms, or at least worms with glasses. This reading dog collar has a similar worm to the one above but these books are more vintage-y, what with the paisley. Starts at $16.
Moving on from worms, I think — though there is an apple and we all know what worms like to eat / build homes in — with this simple black collar. If you want a books dog collar that’s less of a statement piece and more of an elegant declaration of your love for books, this could be your top choice. The price starts at $24.
If you and/or your dog is/are a fan of Gone with the Wind or Little Women, then this books dog collar will be the talk of the town (or the bark of the park). It comes in a single size for about $12.
My dogs love being outdoors, and while Sweet Maud would probably love to play with a squirrel, I can tell you that Fiddle, who spent the first five years of his life as a stray, is not safe around squirrels! So let’s leave this adorable woodland library dog collar to our favorite gentle dogs. $24.
So what do you think? Do you have a favorite? My favorite is all the ones that have worms, obviously. I did not know that I was in love with worms but stay tuned for my next article, “Books with Worms in Them Because I Apparently Love Worms.”