This is a … transitional time for Archie Comics. One could even say it’s a downright weird time for Archie Comics. The 76-year-old company has had a pretty consistent run of their main comic — Archie is good-natured guy, he has a couple main love interests, there are shenanigans, Jughead likes to eat, there are puns, etc.
So comic readers let out a resounding “… Huh” when the company announced last year that they’d be releasing the Archie vs. Predator book. That’s right — the Predator. As in, the one that hunts and slaughters humans. In an Archie book. The first issue came out this month and while it has a pretty run of the mill A-story for the Archie crew (a fashion show on the beach!), the Predator does show up and does murder the crap out of some supporting characters. Disemboweling is involved.
It’s a weird book, but it’s kind of a weird book that manages to work in its absolute weirdness. And yet it’s not even the weirdest book Archie Comics will be putting out this year because right after Archie vs. Predator #1 came out they announced the next crossover would be … Sharknado. A 48-page one-shot Sharknado/Archie crossover.
I’m just kind of in awe of how game this company is at pushing through their decades-long box of wholesomeness into the realm of crazytown bananapants.
Look, this isn’t the first time Archie has had some weird crossovers — the Punisher, Kiss, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the characters of Glee have all crossed paths with the Riverdale gang before — and the series has taken on more complex topics like disability and sexuality in recent years. But combine the Predator and shark tornadoes with the super dark current Sabrina the Teenage Witch comic and the upcoming total reboot for the main book with a new design for the protagonist that my fellow Panelteers have dubbed “Hot Archie,” it seems like Archie Comics has very few f*cks to give. And I mean that in the absolute best way.
I’m more than willing to encourage Archie Comics to keep going in their weird-ass crossovers and genre-jumping. We need more “what the hell” moments. And with that in mind … I have some suggestions:
Archie vs. the Birdemic
All Archie and the gang wanted was to go to the Art and Pumpkin Festival in Half Moon Bay and now eagles are attacking! Will there be shock? Will there be terror? Will there be blurry candy bars??
Archie and the Power Rangers
Zordon asks Alpha Five to bring him teenagers with attitude. … Turns out they pulled their new Power Rangers from Riverdale, not Angelgrove. It’s as disastrous as you might expect.
Scott Pilgrim vs. Archie
Sex Bomb-omb are at an out-of-town Battle of the Bands at some American high school dance. Turns out Reggie is Ramona’s secret eighth evil ex … but Archie owes Reggie a favor, so it’s up to him to fight the crazy Canadian bassist! Also: “Who names their band ‘Josie and the Pussycats,’ anyway? That’s not even a video game reference.”
Archie and Jupiter Ascending
Betty is deemed a resurrected space queen by space bees. Veronica wants to try on all the costumes.
Archie vs. The Room
It’s just Tommy Wiseau walking into Riverdale, saying hello to any doggies he might see and trying to get the kids to toss the football around with him. It’s uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Archie and Pacific Rim
Betty and Veronica fight over who gets to be Archie’s drift partner before realizing that … they’re drift compatible! And then they punch kaiju in the face with the power of their friendship. And with robot fists.
Archie in the Cabin in the Woods
… You know, I don’t think Jughead even HAS a cousin.
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