The 42 Traits of The Perfect Reader

 

  1. The perfect reader reads in translation, but prefers to read in the original language.
  2. The perfect reader reads 50% books by women and 50% books by men.
  3. The perfect reader buys exclusively hardbacks from independent bookstores.
  4. The perfect reader prefers print.
  5. The perfect reader likes plot but doesn’t need it.
  6. The perfect reader reads every line.
  7. The perfect reader makes their reading decisions based on professional reviews.
  8. The perfect reader did the book club reading.
  9. The perfect reader likes a little genre, but not enough to hurt them.
  10. The perfect reader is thrilled that kids are reading YA and hopes it leads them to pick up some serious literature eventually.
  11. The perfect reader saw the movie and thought it had some strong points, but preferred the book.
  12. The perfect reader worries about the future of the American novel.
  13. The perfect reader knew of the work of the most recent Nobel Laureate already.
  14. The perfect reader appreciates an ambiguous ending.
  15. The perfect reader tweets something nice about every book he/she reads, but knows that when you have nothing nice to say it’s better to say nothing at all.
  16. The perfect reader understood Ulysses.
  17. The perfect reader doesn’t let their personal beliefs and experience interfere with their reading of a book.
  18. The perfect reader remembers when literature was at the center of cultural life. 
  19. The perfect reader can keep the Brontes straight.
  20. The perfect reader doesn’t crease the spine.
  21. The perfect reader reads every book they are given as gifts.
  22. The perfect reader got the allusion.
  23. The perfect reader thinks that reading romance is really great for some people.
  24. The perfect reader doesn’t care what other people think of their reading. 
  25. The perfect reader is interested in and fully grasps the complexity of the publishing industry.
  26. The perfect reader cares what the author meant.
  27. The perfect reader wishes poetry were more popular.
  28. The perfect reader appreciates an hour-long author reading.
  29. The perfect reader always looks up the word.
  30. The perfect reader knows which one was proud and which one was prejudiced.
  31. The perfect reader never hesitates to loan their books. 
  32. The perfect reader is happy to discuss the book they are reading with the person in the seat beside them.
  33. The perfect reader always makes it to the end.
  34. The perfect reader gets over the misogyny, homophobia, and sexism of the classics, because hey those were the times.
  35. The perfect reader is beginning to think about maybe trying a graphic novel.
  36. The perfect reader would never ban a book. 
  37. The perfect reader never reads the last chapter first just to know what happens.
  38. The perfect reader actually sort of prefers the extended whaling descriptions in Moby-Dick, to be honest.
  39. The perfect reader really misses all those newspaper book reviews.
  40. The perfect reader never gets a new book until they have finished all of the ones they already have. 
  41. The perfect reader gets the star-rating exactly right.
  42. The perfect reader is such a keen thinker that they immediately pick up on satire and congratulate the writer’s insight, insouciance, and devilish ingenuity.

 

(Thanks also to a bunch of Book Riot contributors for ideas. Perfect readers, all).

 

____________________

Stay snuggly with these cozy Book Riot hoodies!

hoodies

Looking for your next great audiobook? We recommend Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. Get it or one of 250,000 other audiobooks free when you begin an Audible 30-day trial. audible_scifi_570x147
VIEW COMMENTS