Lists

39 Killer Literary Roller Derby Names

Rachel Manwill

Staff Writer

Rachel Manwill is an editor, writer, and professional nomad. Twice a year, she runs the #24in48 readathon, during which she does almost no reading. She's always looking for an excuse to recommend a book, whether you ask her for one or not. When she's not ranting about comma usage for her day job as a corporate editor, she's usually got an audiobook in her ears and a puppy in her lap. Blog: A Home Between Pages Twitter: @rachelmanwill

If you’ve never been to a roller derby match, I can promise you that you’ve never seen anything more simultaneously terrifying and thrilling and kick-ass. A few years ago, a friend of a friend was in a league and I used to meet up with them and the rest of their teams after matches at a bar. The girls were fierce and bruised and also incredibly welcoming, despite the fact that they had just spent the last hour shoving and elbowing and tripping each other.

They also had really killer derby names – which every skater will tell you is crucial – like Flux InCapacitator and Jam Reaper and Scarin’ Blockovitch. (“Jam” and “block” are derby jargon.) And if I couldn’t love it more (without actually strapping on a pair of skates myself), the level of puniness is off the charts in roller girl names.

So obviously, I wondered, what would you get if you crossed a book lover with a roller girl? Turns out there’s a helluva lot of literary-inspired derby names that have already been registered.

There are some themes; Harry Potter names is a big one, as are classic lady characters and fairytales. These are the 39 best (or at least my favorites) in the derby database:

  1. Grimm Scarytales
  2. Little Grr Maid
  3. Agatha Crushdie
  4. Luscious Malfoy
  5. Hermione Danger
  6. Pain Eyre
  7. Tess of the DerbyWheels
  8. Alice in Woundherland
  9. Sylvia Wrath
  10. Malice Walker
  11. Scratcher in the Eye
  • Emily Deck’erson
  • Anais Ninja
  • Harlot O’Scara
  • Soylent Mean
  • Mary Choppins
  • Tragedy Ann
  • Katniss Evermean
  • Mad Splatter
  • Malice in Wonderland
  • Sherblock Bones
  • Rudyard Crippling
  • Holly GoBiteMe
  • Wilma Shakesfear
  • Pippi Longstompings
  • Tackleberry Finn
  • JayK Rolling
  • Danielle Steel (if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it)
  • Rapunchel
  • Block Beauty
  • Lady MacDeath
  • Fifty Shades of Mayhem
  • Robin of Blocksley
  • Arya Snark
  • SinderHella
  • Give ’em Hell Vetica
  • Killbo Baggins
  • Luna Shovegood
  • Killer Mockingbird

    Pretty badass. I’m definitely a SinderHella. So what would be your derby name?

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