Drake with a book
Humor

Bookline Bling: A Parody

Jenn Northington

Director, Editorial Operations

Jenn Northington has worked in the publishing industry wearing various hats since 2004, including bookseller and events director, and is currently Director of Editorial Operations at Riot New Media Group. You can hear her on the SFF Yeah! podcast nerding out about sci-fi and fantasy. When she’s not working, she’s most likely gardening, running, or (obviously) reading. Find her on Tumblr at jennIRL and Instagram at iamjennIRL.

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By Jenn and Amanda, with thanks to Drake’s Hotline Bling.

Drake dancing with a book

You used to call me on my cell phone,

Late night when you need my recs
Call me on my cell phone
Late night when you need my recs
I know when that bookline bling
That can only mean one thing
I know when that bookline bling
That can only mean one thing

Ever since I left the city you
Got a reputation for yourself now
Everybody knows you readin’ slash now
Writing fic and fav’ing those headcanons now
Cause ever since I left the city you
Started watching TV less and readin’ books more
Mugs of coffee on the living room floor
Reading authors I’ve never seen before

Ever since I left the city, you, you, you
You and me, we just don’t get along
You make me feel like I did your books wrong
Bent back one spine, it wasn’t very strong
Ever since I left the city you
Reading all those books about some woods-elf
Running out of places on your bookshelf
Critiquing covers all by yourself

These days, all I do is
Wonder if you’re out there sharin’ Goodreads with someone else
Wonder if you’re touring bookstores with someone else
Citing things I taught you, reading out loud with someone else
You don’t need no one’s recs
You don’t need nobody’s picks, no
Why your books never alone
Why your books always touching road
Used to keep ‘em at home, not such a book worm
You was in the Strand, yeah
You should just be yourself
Right now, you’re someone else

You used to call me on my cell phone…