Books Anchor Me in an Increasingly Chaotic World

I’ve been having a difficult time lately, and I need the distraction to redirect my treacherous thoughts. Books seem like the key out of the prison of my mind.

I had a messy friendship breakup in the beginning of April, and I’m not sure if I can still mend the broken bond. He was my brother; the level of emotional pain rivals that of a breakup with a significant other. My career as a writer/journalist is also starting to affect my mental health such that it makes me want to quit the industry for good. Whenever a story comes up, there’s always one or two nasty comments on social media for the most trivial of things. It’s very demoralizing and degrading. I recently altered the notification filters on my social media accounts to stop receiving unsolicited mentions and messages. What I don’t know won’t hurt me, or at least I’d like to think so. And then watching the news doesn’t help either. The 24-hour news cycle — the coverage on social and political unrest, pandemic-related issues, migration crisis, and so on — feels overwhelming.

It’s extremely taxing to get things done whenever a depressive episode occurs, but I somehow still manage to fight my negative thoughts. I learned of bibliotherapy in the last few years, which has been very helpful, especially during this period of social isolation. I force myself to pick up a book and lose myself in it. Sometimes, it’s hard to get past the first sentence. Sometimes, it works. And when it does, it feels like slamming the door on a noisy room.

Books anchor me in an increasingly chaotic world. When I devour a book, I get engrossed in its world and I temporarily forget all my worries in life. After indulging in a good read for several hours, I feel…calmer and peaceful; my mind magically quiets down. I feel like things could get better somehow.

Escapist or genre fiction, specifically science fiction, fantasy, horror, mystery, dystopian, and historical fiction, strangely helps me feel empowered. The fast-paced mystery of a fantasy adventure involving sassy, magic-wielding, and smart-mouthed assassins keeps me on edge of my seat — in a positive way. The late-night chills that horror novels provide alter my perspective a little bit. The sign of an intelligent life in science fiction books sometimes suspends my disbelief and engages my mind. Taking a trip through time with historical fiction helps me relive the past long gone.

The dystopian novel titled Crosshairs by Catherine Hernandez plunged me into a world where diversity doesn’t exist. The book follows a gay drag queen named Kay, who, after being thrown out by his family and losing his livelihood, joins a resistance movement to fight against the totalitarian regime in his country. The book transported me to a futuristic, dystopian Canada where people of color and people with disabilities are being rounded up to be thrown into concentration camps. The experience was very unpleasant but very eye-opening as well.