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Humor

Book-Related Startups That Could Definitely Work

Vivienne Woodward

Contributor

Vivienne Woodward lives in Philly and works as the events coordinator for an indie bookstore. She can often be found drinking too much coffee in the sunny spot on her couch and over-identifying with fictional characters. She enjoys collecting hobbies, dancing to radio pop, and rearranging the book stacks on her side tables.

Books are back in and venture capitalists are definitely going to start investing, any day now, in innovative book businesses. It’s only a matter of time until brick and mortar bookstore sales eclipse app store sales, so, the time to get in on the ground floor of these book-related startups is now.

via GIPHY

Read ‘N Breed: A luxury sperm bank experience filled with erotica and hours-long appointment slots.

Reading for Measure: An intensive two-week crash diet course where books replace regular meals.

Books to Bleed By: A blood bank that will read Vampire fan fiction to you while you donate blood.

Page & Gauge: Look through an antique collection of Victorian literature while having your ears stretched.

Took a Book: A used bookstore where all the books inside have been acquired through illegal means.

Steed Reading: The stakes to learn to read have never been higher than when you’re learning to read on a sprinting horse.

Page sur la Plage: A valet service that will bring you book refills as you finish them on the beach.

Book Pines: Decorative pine trees made out of upcycled book pages.

Bookparks: Parks where book pages replace grass and you can crawl around and read novels on your hands and knees.

Page Gimlet: A bar that serves only $40 gimlets but each drink comes with a recent hardcover about Trump’s presidency.

Words to Sieve By: A baking show where contestants have to produce a baked good and an accompanying short story for the judges to enjoy while tasting their food.

What did we miss? The possibilities are truly endless. Endlessly profitable, that is.