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Humor

The Yoga Poses of Literature Appreciation

Elizabeth Bastos

Staff Writer

Elizabeth Bastos has written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Boston Globe, and writes at her blog 19th-Century Lady Naturalist. Follow her on Twitter: @elizabethbastos

The pose of Very Much Wanting To Understand Ulysses by James Joyce is Parivrtta Janu Sirasana or Revolved Head To Knee Pose and you’ll probably need someone to help you so you don’t sprain yourself.

Ta-dah! Asana: You piled paperbacks into an astoundingly tall stack.

The Proust Pose is reading anything in English translation while eating a French sugar cookie shaped like a scallop.

The practice of Leather-Bound Journal for Your Writing Ideas can be begun only if you can live on nothing but the dew of a compliment someone (probably your mother) posted on your blog.

As there are many variations of the forward bend there are many variations of the pose of The Reader. Reader With Fun Colorful Reading Glasses. Reader In The Carpool Line, Unexpected Reader, Checking Out Other Readers, etc.

Do You Have Too Many Self Help Books? is a pose only you can answer by chanting om.

The Pose Of Pretending You’ve Read That is familiar to all yogis, and was probably invented thousands of years ago because the word for it in Sanskrit is Pulitzer what?

Making your lips very thin by pressing them together so no words come out is The Pose of Having A Derogatory Opinion Of Your Sweetie’s Absolutely Favorite Book of Speculative Fiction.

Having A Thing About Reading Charming Non-Fiction About Remodeling Farmhouses In Southern France is a pose assumed by people in suburban America who long to crush ripe grapes under their toes and feel alive.

The pose of Having A Lot of Books Out From The Library With Titles Like D.I.Y. Pickles And Other Made From Scratch Ideas requires props. Canning supplies. An ironic gingham aprom.

Remember to do a restorative backbend after attempting the hours-long forward bend over the keyboard that is Write Like A Motherfucker, like Cheryl Strayed suggests.

Corpse Pose is you, in bed by 9 pm, with whatever you were reading open on your face.