Humor

20 of the Best Twitter Responses to “Novelists Writing About Growing Up”

Tracy Shapley Towley

Staff Writer

Tracy is a freelance copywriter, all-around ne’er do well, very-adult graduate of the University of Iowa, and occasional waterer of plants. Her hobbies include writing fiction, reading fiction, mixing together various flavors of soup, and typing letters to her friends on an old red typewriter that doesn't have a working period so all sentences must end in questions marks or exclamation points? She has read every Pulitzer Prize-winning novel and has a lot of thoughts on them. Her old Iowa farmhouse is shared by her husband Sean, a pair of cats, a pair of dogs, and the ghost of Kurt Vonnegut.

View All posts by Tracy Shapley Towley

Feb 8, 2020

Have you ever read a book set in your hometown or geographic region? If so, you have likely, at a minimum, rolled your eyes at a description or two, or, if you’re like me, you have hollered at a book out loud as though it can hear you…because maybe it can? Well, praise the world, we are not alone. Check out these snort-inducing takes on novelists’ misguided ideas of growing up in various parts of the world. https://twitter.com/WenzlerPowers/status/1221968768408133632

NOVELISTS WRITING ABOUT GROWING UP IN THE MIDWEST: Butter from my corn dripped onto the gingham picnic cloth like drops of sunlight

MY ACTUAL CHILDHOOD IN THE MIDWEST: the hawks left a half-eaten squirrel in the yard but it's surrounded by insane wild turkeys so I guess it stays
— a one-man murdertwunk (@adspexi) January 28, 2020

https://twitter.com/sdcinerama/status/1222269467079524353

NOVELISTS WRITING ABOUT GROWING UP IN APPALACHIA: We were so gorshdang poor, but Meemaw always found a way to keep our bellies full of squirrel pie & oxycontin

ACTUAL CHILDHOOD: My Meemaw is a nice Italian lady who bakes 1000 cookies every christmas and calls laundry a “warsher”
— yassified aloy (@singeddryad) January 28, 2020

NOVELISTS ON LIFE IN CANADA: It was a quaint life – all toques and toboggans, eating maple syrup off snow and being kind.

ACTUAL LIFE IN CANADA: It was a quaint life – all toques and toboggans, eating maple syrup off snow and being kind, and viscously mocking Americans.
— H. M. Long – Updates Only (@hannah_m_long) January 29, 2020

https://twitter.com/TymberDalton/status/1222394300912279555 https://twitter.com/Van_Sounds/status/1222308819377672192 https://twitter.com/vaginaspektor/status/1222256314941890561 https://twitter.com/MiaDonahue3/status/1222358509079203845 https://twitter.com/PanickedIdiot/status/1222337379412910080

NOVELISTS WRITING ABOUT GROWING UP IN NEW ORLEANS: She rushed out of her shotgun cottage at the sound of the Praline Woman's call, as a second-line parade approached

MY ACTUAL CHILDHOOD IN NEW ORLEANS: I saw a drunk girl on the lakefront puke up a daiquiri
— Gail Delaughter (@Gail_HPM) January 30, 2020

WRITING ABOUT THE HUNTSVILLE, AL AREA: Bubba was toothless, illiterate & wore overalls over a bare chest, but we knew he'd pound anyone who sassed him.

ACTUAL HUNTSVILLE AREA: 1/2 the ppl here are literal rocket scientists, but we still have a team called the "Trash Pandas" 😩
— Chelsea🌹🖤🔥 #EnoughIsEnough #NotMeUs (@kelz3108) January 30, 2020

https://twitter.com/genco_sofia/status/1222639650122059777

Oh, okay, okay.

NOVELISTS WRITING ABOUT MINNESOTA: Icicles glittered from the trees as the wind whipped the snow into tiny cyclones.

ACTUAL MINNESOTA: Dammit, which side of the street can I park on today? Oh, well. Best wrap this heating pad around the water pipe.
— Steven Brust, pjf (@StevenBrust) January 29, 2020

https://twitter.com/majken_aune/status/1222488678016212993

NOVELISTS WRITING ABOUT SCOTLAND: "Och aye yer a bonnie lass," Hamish said, kilt blowing in the breeze, the haunting sound of bagpipes in the distance.

MY ACTUAL CHILDHOOD: Skater kids wearing baggy jeans drinking bucky at the park. Some dude named Chris throws up in a bush.
— Alanna (@AliHeartsBooks) January 29, 2020

https://twitter.com/jenifer_tidwell/status/1222371218722041858

NOVELISTS WRITING ABOUT GROWING UP IN NYC: With Sinatra playing faintly in the background, we snuck into Yankee Stadium and saw the magic

MY ACTUAL CHILDHOOD IN NYC: The super kicked us out of the stairwell so now we're drinking on someone's stoop. It is 19°
— Bartókian Nightmare (@BartokianN) January 29, 2020

NOVELISTS WRITING ABOUT GROWING UP IN TX: Buck rode his horse across the vast West Texas plain, the scent of bluebonnets in the air, a juicy Whataburger in his hand.

MY ACTUAL CHILDHOOD IN TX: I got stung by fire ants and a truck hit a skunk in front of the house again.
— Daniel A. Wier (@Where_sMyCoffee) January 30, 2020

CT CHILDHOOD IN NOVELS: I went down to the beach at sunset and breathed in the salt tang of the air. The serenity of the shore stole over my heart.

CT CHILDHOOD IRL: bout to murder all these summer people who can't drive and vote no on the budget every goddamn year.
— Belle Chanson, Lipstick Witch, MLS (@ekp0717) January 30, 2020

You Might Also Like