If Stephen King Wrote HARRY POTTER

What if Stephen King’s novels all took place in the Harry Potter universe? Here’s what we think a few of them would be about. (Please note that we have not included any Robert Galbraith Richard Bachman titles, for obvious reasons.)

Carrie (1974)

Fed up with Ron’s constant bullying, Hermione drenches the Hogwarts Yule Ball in pig’s blood. via GIPHY

‘Salem’s Lot (1975)

The dementors are actual vampires. via GIPHY

The Shining (1977)

Vernon Dursley takes his family on vacation to get away from the owls, but he’s…not stable, and Dudley’s having visions. via GIPHY

The Stand (1978)

Dark Marks are coming back; Death Eaters are drawn to Little Hangleton while other wizards gather under the direction of Mother Albus. Eventually, the two groups confront each other. via GIPHY

The Mist (1980)

A magical mist traps wizards and witches in The Three Broomsticks. Outside, Bellatrix LaStrange calls for a sacrifice. via GIPHY

Cujo (1981)

There’s a rabid three-headed dog in the third floor corridor on the right-hand side. via GIPHY

Christine (1983)

The Weasley family Ford Anglia has it in for Ron and Harry. via GIPHY

Pet Sematary (1983)

A grieving Harry buries Hedwig in the old pet cemetary. Then things get really bad. via GIPHY

It (1986)

Young orphan Harry befriends a half-giant in the sewers. “We’re all wizards down here.” via GIPHY

Misery (1987)

Hermione Granger takes Rita Skeeter prisoner and forces her to write articles that tell the truth about Harry Potter. via GIPHY

The Green Mile (1996)

A dementor at Azkaban has a strange encounter with a prisoner. via GIPHY

The Dark Tower (series 1982–2004)

“The Muggle in Black fled across the desert and the Wizard followed” (h/t Anthony Karcz). Also there’s Quidditch in the wild west, and for some reason the golden snitches/sneetches explode. via GIPHY

11.22.63 (2011)

A time traveler attempts to stop Voldemort’s murder of Lily and James Potter. via GIPHY