The Finest Tweets of #TrumpBookReport

Out of the darkness that was presidential debate number three, there came a light: #TrumpBookReport. You are a treasure, book nerds of twitter. This one seems to have been the match that lit the #TrumpBookReport bonfire:

Trump’s foreign policy answers sound like a book report from a teenager who hasn’t read the book. “Oh, the grapes! They had so much wrath!”

— Antonio French (@AntonioFrench) October 20, 2016

And a sampling of the magic that followed:

Westeros is failing. Wall is okay. I could build it higher. American steel. I’d be the best King. Tremendous king. Isis.#TrumpBookReport

— Pat Rothfuss (@PatrickRothfuss) October 20, 2016

I was against the war in Troy. Ask Hannity. And Helen was maybe a 6. She wouldn’t have been my first choice, believe me. #TrumpBookReport

— Bent S. Sinister ? (@BrentSirota) October 20, 2016

Don Quixote was a loser, ok? He couldn’t even win against a windmill. Listen, I’ll beat all the windmills, believe me. #TrumpBookReport

— Shannon Hale (@haleshannon) October 20, 2016

Hester Prynne maybe a five. Believe me, Dimmesdale could do better. That Pearl, though. I’ll be dating her in 20 years. #trumpbookreport

— Jennifer Weiner (@jenniferweiner) October 20, 2016

Those poor heights. They were wuthering. Wuthering so bad. Bigly wuthering. I’ll make them great again. #TrumpBookReport @AntonioFrench

— Callie (@calliembush) October 20, 2016

We’re gonna build a bridge. Best bridge you ever seen, magnificent bridge. Then we’re gonna send the Terabithians back #TrumpBookReport

— Shaun | No, Totally! (@NoTotally) October 20, 2016

That caterpillar was doing an awful job at eating. What a loser. I eat better. I am a great eater. I’m always hungry #TrumpBookReview

— Johnfromsoho (@johnfromsoho) October 20, 2016

20,000 Leagues Under The Sea. Huge number of leagues. Big-League leagues. Thousands of leagues, all under the sea. #trumpbookreport

— Haley Nickert (@HaleoDcapricorn) October 20, 2016

Gatsby? He says he was great. I don’t know. People are saying maybe not so great. I’ll make Gatsby great again. #trumpbookreport

— Brian Francis (@briandfrancis) October 20, 2016

I just don’t get what Lennie did that was so wrong! Nice guy! Why couldn’t George just have told him about the rabbits? #TrumpBookReport

— Rufus Hound (@RufusHound) October 20, 2016

Odysseus really made whatever island it was great again. So great. And the ships and planes. I’ll never forget our military #TrumpBookReport

— Adam Korengold (@akorengold) October 20, 2016

I don’t know about this guy Gulliver. I think we need to shut down his travels until we figure out what’s going on. #TrumpBookReport

— Ian Magus (@ianmagus) October 20, 2016

Little Women? Look at their Facebook page. That Jo walked in front of me, and I don’t think so, folks, I don’t think so. #TrumpBookReport

— Jennifer Weiner (@jenniferweiner) October 20, 2016

Voldemort was a good man. A good man. People say I’m like him, that’s good. But Hermione was a nasty, nasty woman. #TrumpBookReport

— Amber Kirk-Ford (@MileLongBookS) October 20, 2016

I’m telling you folks, if I were in charge, we wouldn’t have waited for Godot. I would’ve found him in 5 minutes. #Trumpbookreport

— Drea De Oro (@hartdrea7) October 20, 2016

Oedipus. Tremendous leader. The best. I’ve always said that if Jocasta were my mother, perhaps I’d be dating her. #TrumpBookReport

— kyla crowther (@whatkylasaid) October 20, 2016

“Juliet. Such a nasty woman. She made Romeo kill himself. And believe me he could have done better. Look at her.” #TrumpBookReport

— Catherine Q. (@CatherineQ) October 20, 2016

The Lannisters. Great family. Strong leaders. Ramsay Bolton said nice things about me. Jon Snow is for open borders. Loser. #TrumpBookReport

— Victoria Graveyard (@VictoriaAveyard) October 20, 2016

A tale of two cities. And you know? Chicago is a really dangerous city. Probably the most dangerous city. DISASTER. #TrumpBookReport

— Prima Materia (@TheHelenOfTrill) October 20, 2016

Lolita. Beautiful woman. Phenomenal woman. In ten years, I’ll be dating her. That Humbert Humbert guy. So low-energy. Sad! #TrumpBookReport

— Lauren Holmes (@lholmes12) October 20, 2016

Lemme tell you about Tom Sawyer. If I painted that fence it would’ve been done once. He’s a loser. He’s a disaster, okay? #TrumpBookReport

— yelhsa leinad (@XxAshes2Ashes) October 20, 2016

There were flies and I was their lord. You’ve never seen such a lord, I was the best. Also fat kid died, sad. #TrumpBookReport

— Grant Haun (@keyskong) October 20, 2016

This code and Da Vinci made the code. I know Da Vinci and he’s a terrible guy and his code, let me tell you its a disaster. #TrumpBookReport

— Rami Bensasi (@HolaRamito) October 20, 2016

“We’re gonna catch so much rye, you won’t believe it. We’re bringing those rye catching jobs to America.” #TrumpBookReport @AntonioFrench

— Steve McPherson (@steventurous) October 20, 2016

The first rule of Fight Club is I don’t have to accept the results of any fight I lose in Fight Club. #TrumpBookReport

— Faith Choyce (@faithchoyce) October 20, 2016

I have so much pride. So much. I have no prejudice. #TrumpBookReport @AntonioFrench

— jennwhitmer (@jennwhitmer) October 20, 2016

They had great expectations. The best expectations. But it was bad, folks. A disaster. Such expectations. Sad #TrumpBookReport

— Emma Coats (@lawnrocket) October 20, 2016

Dumbledore?Such a disaster.He ran that school for 30 years & look at it. Now that Voldermort, you may not like him but… #TrumpBookReport

— Aisha Saeed (@aishacs) October 20, 2016

It was the best of times. Absolutely phenomenal. It was the worst of times. Total disaster. #TrumpBookReport

— Ben (@noblerzen) October 20, 2016

Even Margaret Atwood is a fan:

Oh Twitter. You are so naughty! #TrumpBookReport

— Margaret E. Atwood (@MargaretAtwood) October 20, 2016