Signs You’ve Been Reading Too Much YA
I read a lot of Young Adult, both for work and fun. I love it. I mean, I love me some good YA. (Not that anyone would ever admit to loving bad anything, but you know what I mean.) And there is some great YA out there.
However, every so often, I’ll realize that I haven’t had an adult book in my reading history in a while, and I’ll notice it because my thought patterns start to get weird.
1. You get in an argument with your significant other. Instead of talking it over, you update your Facebook status with: “I knew YOU were trouble when you walked in – TS. SO TRUE!”
2. Two of your friends hung out and forgot to ask if you wanted to come. You realize you can never speak to those skanks again.
3. You make eye contact with a handsome stranger on the train. If he gets off at your stop, he is totes your future boyfriend. Duh.
4. Your parents don’t love your new boyfriend, BUT DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE YOU WILL DIE BEFORE YOU LET HIM GO.
5. You’re seriously considering setting up a SnapChat account.
6. You’ve quit asking anyone for help because you are independent and you can handle anything! And everyone is probably busy, so you don’t want to bother them any way. They’d just think you were annoying.
7. You’re thinking that a makeover might actually change your life.
8. That asshole you met at a party? They’re just misunderstood. You can totally change them. You understand.
9. You are very, very concerned with finding the love of your life.
10. You’re thinking about changing your name to Aerith. Or Llynia. Or Kaden. Or Tomás.
11. You’re worried that your friends are more frenemies than besties and are trying to kill you with kindness. All motives are suspect.
12. You’re pretty sure that America’s going to be a dystopia in your lifetime, so you’re thinking about taking up archery.
13. You’ve somehow found yourself at the center of a huge government conspiracy. (Though it’s possible that maybe your internet is just not working.)
14. You’re deliberately using unnecessary shorthand in texting á la: “U coming 2 my party 2nite?” (Also, you are having house parties.)
15. Or you’re just speaking in hashtags. #YOLO #Blessed #Etc
16. Some jerk crossed you and now it is time to create the most elaborate form of revenge ever. Probably in the form of public embarrassment. Will definitely involve pictures of said jerk in underwear posted to [insert social network here].
17. You keep waking up naked without any recollection of the previous night. You’re pretty sure you’re a werewolf. Or drinking too much.
18. You’re still pissed off that no one sent you your goddamn letter to Hogwarts.
19. You’ve started shipping people in real life. Subway Conductor x Angry Commuter = OTP4Lyfe.
20. You know that you are the most special, most amazing, most unique person in the world. You are the Chosen One.
Ok, guys, BRB, I need 2 go read some Murakami.
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