Falling down the Etsy rabbit hole is one of my internet-ish weaknesses, and upon one of these bottomless falls I came across this Dead Writers Perfume, which is made with “black tea, vetiver, clove, musk, vanilla, heliotrope, and tobacco.” The combination reminds me of an old, worn book and maybe a dude with a dusty velvet jacket using a feather pen to write an opus, and I got to wondering what perfumes based on individual dead writers might look like. A few ideas:
Ernest Hemingway: Salt water, rum, coconut and lime, cigar smoke, Spanish wine
F. Scott Fitzgerald: Gin, citrus, oak (prep school, amirite), in a champagne-flute shaped bottle with gold flecks in it
Jane Austen: Darjeeling tea, snowdrops and pansies (flowers from her garden), meadow grass
Dorothy Parker: Whiskey sour, vanilla, mandarin, white musk
Edgar Allan Poe: Poppies, absinthe, sandalwood, and mold
Flannery O’Connor: Church incense, soap, vanilla, ginger
Jack Kerouac: Cigarettes, cheap beer, unwashed youth, patchouli, car leather
the Bronte Sisters: Heather, sea air, vetiver, primrose, black tea
Louisa May Alcott: Fir tree, red currant, blood orange, coffee beans
Tolstoy: Vodka, musk, black tea, black peppercorn, cedar
Sylvia Plath: Freshly washed linen, vanilla, daffodils, lavender
Margaret Mitchell: Musk, magnolia, tea, sugar, gardenia blossoms
Dickens: Cloves, tobacco, patchouli, brandy water, river water
Anne Sexton: Vodka martini, tobacco, lemon verbena, peppermint
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