When I started writing for Book Riot in 2016 my very first article that was published was Queer Book Characters I Would Totally Date (and Why). Since it’s been over two years ago since I wrote that, I figured it was time for a version 2.0. Here are five more of my queer literary crushes who I wish were real people so I could actually date them.
Sadia Ahmed from Wrong to Need You by Alisha Rai
As a bisexual woman, I can’t believe I’ve never dated a fellow bisexual. I could rectify this by asking out Sadia Ahmed, the heroine of the second novel in Alisha Rai’s Forbidden Hearts romance series. Sadia is a kick-ass, confident, sex-positive bisexual woman. There is something very sexy about a woman who knows what she wants. And Sadia has pursued what she wants both in romantic partners and her career, even though it’s made her the black sheep in her family. Other things to love about Sadia: she’s a bartender—a great skill to have in a partner—and has a super adorable kid. I mean, I would be sorry to steal her from Jackson, Wrong to Need You’s brooding hero. But I think if Sadia and I were meant to be, he’d understand.
Lucifer from The Wicked + The Divine by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie
Yeah, yeah, I know that Lucifer is an immortal who is, uh, named after the devil for perhaps good reason. But I just can’t help but swoon over her Bowie-esque androgynous style and swagger. When she makes flame appear from her finger to light her cigarette? Swoon. When she blows stuff up? Swoon. When she’s sarcastic and sassy? Swoon. When she grins wickedly? Swoon. When she takes glibly of murder? Swoon. I know, I know: there is nothing good to be found with an irredeemable bad girl. And it would obviously be anything but an enduring relationship with Luci(fer), least of which is because she’s bound to live only two years like all the rest of the reincarnated gods. But it would be epic while it lasted.
Innon from The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin
Innon is another fellow bisexual. He’s a charismatic man who somehow manages the impossible, like making characters who are awkward/kind of hate each other—ahem, Syenite and Alabaster—somehow end up together in a poly marriage of sorts. He’s described in the mythology of Jemisin’s world as “built more like a Strongback than a Resistant and with personality enough to outshine any Yumenescene Leader,” which basically means he has all the best parts of all sorts of different kinds of people. He’s one of those very big and tall and strong people with a sweetness to him that belies his tough looking exterior. I will forever imagine him as Idris Elba due to this great Dream Cast N.K. Jemisin’s The Fifth Season Book Riot post.
Mary Rose, aka MR, aka Mister from Adult Onset by Ann-Marie MacDonald
Admittedly, this literary crush is a bit of a cheat, since I’ve long had a crush on the author Ann-Marie MacDonald and the protagonist in this novel is by her own admission a lot like her. The line between them is further blurred by the fact that MacDonald, who is a great actress in addition to being a writer, narrates the audiobook. I happen to find her voice very sexy. But to talk about Mister: her gender playful nickname alone is hot. And although you might not think this about a novel that centers around the emotional breakdown of a middle aged lesbian stay-at-home mom, Mister is very funny. Being able to find the dark humor when things are tough is a skill I want in a partner for sure.
Tamara from Sodom Road Exit by Amber Dawn
Tamara isn’t the main character in Amber Dawn’s latest novel (she’s actually the protagonist Starla’s love interest) but she sure is memorable. I was immediately taken with her. Tamara used to be one of the popular girls in high school, works as a stripper, and is now out as a lesbian. What I really love about Tamara is how she is totally out of fucks to give. My favourite Tamara line was, “If I worried about what assholes think, I’d never leave my house.” My second favourite was “If you’re embarrassed about what people will think [about being out as queer in their small town], then you probably shouldn’t be dating the town stripper.” She’s funny and irreverent. Oh yeah, and she also takes her new girlfriend being haunted by a lesbian ghost totally in stride.
Which queer book characters are your dream dates? Let me know in the comments!