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The Deep Dive

Occult Books Failed Me

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S. Zainab Williams

Executive Director, Content

S. Zainab would like to think she bleeds ink but the very idea makes her feel faint. She writes fantasy and horror, and is currently clutching a manuscript while groping in the dark. Find her on Twitter: @szainabwilliams.

I got to thinking about occult books after reading Vanessa’s look back at Practical Magic and then watching The Craft for the first time in ages in the lead-up to Halloween.

I first watched The Craft when it was released in theaters in 1996. I was 13 years old. Even before then, in my earliest preteen years, I’d indulged my fascination with all things witchcraft by checking out just about every witchy fiction book in the young readers section of the South Pasadena Public Library and even some nonfiction from the adult section. My interest in magic and the occult was initially surface-level. Sure, I wanted to attend Miss Cackle’s Academy for Witches with Mildred Hubble after reading books from The Worst Witch series, and I clearly remember learning about the grim belief that the fat of human babies gave witch brooms flight from a nonfiction book—my introduction to darker depictions of and superstitions about witches. But it wasn’t until The Craft that I decided to go in search of books about practicing magic.

Perhaps it was seeing a Black witch onscreen that made something click. I couldn’t look away from Rachel True playing Rochelle Zimmerman, one of the too-cool-for-school members of the established coven Robin Tunney’s Sarah meets on her first day at a new high school. There I was, an L.A. teen about to enter high school, desperately wishing I could be as cool and mysterious—more social misfit than socially incompetent.

After the movie, I dragged my mom to Upstart Crow, the bookstore across from the theater at Universal Citywalk (this was before Upstart Crow turned into a truly obnoxious souvenir shop). Bookish from birth, I had latched onto the idea, promoted by the film, that one need only find the right book to unleash one’s powers. This is how I ended up with my very first “book of magic,” Falcon Feather & Valkyrie Sword: Feminine Shamanism, Witchcraft and Magic by D.J. Conway.

“Ignite the Goddess Spark and Reclaim Your Power,” the back of the book cried in bold, oversized text. While this was exactly what I wanted to do, I couldn’t deny the kernel of disappointment that grew as I handled the glossy cover and flipped through crisp, white pages. This was no Invocation of the Spirit with its understated cloth binding and magically animated illustrations, hiding in plain sight at Lirio’s occult shop—the type of book that has no publisher but, rather, appears from thin air and, though rare, miraculously costs an affordable $25.

I would spend the next couple of decades flitting from occult shop to occult shop, telling myself I was there for crystals and dried herbs when really I was always in search of this special book. I even went to Panpipes Magickal Marketplace, once owned by The Craft star Fairuza Balk, who’d apprenticed with the shop’s then-manager. I walked out of the dim, cramped place not with a book but with a scented oil that made me smell like some reanimated bride rising from her trousseau tomb of rotting flowers. But did I ever find The Book?

A selection of occult books on a shelf in a wooden hutch
A selection of my occult books (wherein I realize I still have Llewellyn’s 1997 Magical Almanac for no good reason…)

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