It seems that there’s nothing James Patterson won’t do to promote books. In recent years, he’s given a ton of money to libraries and independent booksellers, and now he’s trying to turn more people into readers through “BookShots“- short movie-like pieces that are faced-paced and easy to read.
Well. We here at the Riot decided to brainstorm even MORE ideas for James Patterson, in order to help him with his quest(?) to turn every person on the planet into a reader:
Patterson invents a brain implant that transmits books directly into your mind.
Patterson rides around on drones, throwing books through people’s windows.
James Patterson sets up a free sample table at your local grocery store, handing out chapters to unsuspecting shoppers.
James Patterson becomes an Uber driver, handing out tiny bottles of water and chapters of his books to his fares.
James Patterson starts a podcast that’s just a continuous loop of him telling people to read.
James Patterson becomes a candy-striper, handing out Alex Cross novels to everyone in the ICU and whispering “It could be worse. Just wait until chapter 24.”
James Patterson stands outside movie theaters trying to talk people out of buying tickets. “Here, take this book, go home and read it instead.”
James Patterson will come tuck your kids into bed and read them a book so they will learn the value of reading books.
James Patterson will call anyone too busy to read and read them one page from a book each day until they’ve read the entire novel.
James Patterson will interrupt your local programming to read you a short story.
Instead of singing the National Anthem, James Patterson will open sporting events by reading a chapter out of his latest book.
James Patterson will make books the prize in cereal boxes.
James Patterson writes chapters in ketchup and mustard on hot dogs at baseball games.
James Patterson writes six-word stories in the foam of lattes and other gourmet espresso beverages at boutique coffeehouses.
James Patterson starts a line of temporary tattoos that allow you to write books across your body.
James Patterson takes over major corporations to implement mandatory silent reading hours.
James Patterson buys all the advertisements on the L and subways and fills them with words.
James Patterson hacks into Facebook and replaces all posts with entire chapters of books.
James Patterson glues chapters above urinals in the men’s room.
James Patterson develops a commercial virtual reality counsel and markets it as a gamer’s delight, then secretly all of the games are just reading exercises.
James Patterson takes up flying and then pilots a biplane to write novels across the sky.
James Patterson gives you your Chipotle guac for free if you listen to a story.