We have gathered here to mourn the fallen. Here we have listed all the deaths recorded from the Big Two between the months of January and March 2015. As the obituaries go along, we will commit a brief overview of who they are, how they died, and possibly add retractions when they are reborn. This quarter’s obits are 100% Marvel. I was surprised too. Our apologies if we missed any. If we did, let us know. Spoilers ahoy!
January – March 2015
**The editors would like to apologize to the families tortured by Cletus Cassidy (a.k.a. Carnage), whose death was reported prematurely in December of 2014. He was alleged to have died saving humanity from Apocalypse’s gene bomb. He showed up soon after harassing kids he thought were Nova.
Ben Reilly – Clone of Spider-Man from another universe. Dead after blowing up a cloning factory of spider-eating monstrosities. He is survived by a few dozen Spider-Beings. His sacrifice was key to the Spider-Beings stopping the Inheritors from Earth-000 from taking control of all reality.
Lord Solus – Father of the Inheritors (known by some as spider-eating monstrosities). Dead after getting filled with holes by a Man-Spidered Kaine from Earth-616. His death caused the remaining Inheritors to fall into disarray. They were all defeated moments later. He spear-headed the plot to eat all the Spider-Beings of the multiverse and use their power to control all realities. He is survived by his children who are known to be as terrible as he was.
Kaine – New Scarlet Spider of Earth-616. Dead after morphing into a man-spider and getting shanked through the skull. He had recently brought his negative attitude and snark to the New Warriors. His sacrificial acts involved the destruction of Lord Solus and ensuring victory for all the Spider-Beings. As he is “The Other” of the Spider-Verse, this reporter expects to write a retraction of this obit in the coming months.
**The editors and this reporter would like to apologize to the Spider-Beings of the multiverse as the Spider-Totem known as “The Other”, Kaine, evidently survived being a shanked man-spider.
Eternity – Cosmic abstract of the entire cosmos except time (note, we may be misunderstanding due to our being mere humans). Dead by onslaught of Beyonders. We are not sure who it is survived by or how this works. Did everything just die?
Infinity – Cosmic abstract of the entire cosmos except space (note, we may be misunderstanding due to our being mere humans). Dead by onslaught of Beyonders. We are not sure who it is survived by or how this works. Did everything just die?
In-Betweener – Representative of Good/Evil, Life/Death and all dualities. Dead by onslaught of Beyonders.
Lord Chaos – Cosmic abstract of all chaos. Dead by onslaught of Beyonders.
Master Order – Cosmic abstract of all order. Dead by onslaught of Beyonders.
Living Tribunal – Cosmic abstract. Judge of all other cosmic abstracts. Guardian and embodiment of the multiverse. Dead by onslaught of Beyonders.
**It is unclear if there will be a March obit column as we have been told the entire pantheon of cosmic creation is dead. We don’t really get it.
Thor Odinson – Son of Odin, God of Thunder, dead after charging into an army of Beyonders. Longtime Avenger and recently deemed unworthy of his own hammer, Odinson pledged to find the source of the multiversal collapse and led a team with his war-brother Hyperion through the multiverse. He died as gods do.
Hyperion – The sun, god-like hero of a dead world, dead after charging into an army of Beyonders. Recent addition to the Avengers after surviving the death of his own universe during an early cosmic incursion, Hyperion has become a war-brother to Odinson and a father to the Zebra children of the Savage Land. Along with his war-brother Odinson, Hyperion pledged to find the source of the multiversal collapse and led a team on a suicide mission into the heart of the multiverse. He raced Odinson to Valhalla.
Nightmask – Outcome of a corrupted White Event, artificially created human fathered by Ex Nihilo. Dead while transporting multiversal Avengers to Beyonder space.
Abyss – Child of the Gardens of Mother Universe, judge of Ex Nihilo’s creations. Dead with the remainder of his race while turning a Beyonder into a tree of life.
Ex Nihilo – Child of the Gardens of Mother Universe, creator of life. Dead with the remainder of his race while turning a Beyonder into a tree of life.
Redwing – Majestic bird psychically linked to Sam Wilson, the All-New Captain America. Dead by being vampired to death by Baron Blood. Technically an Avenger and definitely a Pet Avenger, Redwing has taken part of the saving of the universe either directly or indirectly many times. Though only an animal, Redwing affected the continuation of mankind and its prosperity far more than you or I ever will.
The Supreme Intelligence – Supremor was recently brought back to life by Ronan the Accuser. It took the lives and brains of two Reed Richardses to fuel the rebirth. Dead when J’Son blew up Hala with him on it. Supremor had a strange relationship with humanity. Though our races were often at odds, Supremor instructed others to listen when Captain America and Thor Odinson began to take control of the fight against the Builders and eventually save the universe. Cold, calculating, and always acting with the future of his race in mind. The universe will fare worse without the Supreme Intelligence.
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