Ice Cream Flavors of Fiction

Judy Heflin

Staff Writer

Judy Heflin is a technical writer from California.

Welcome to Flavors of Fiction, a mom and pop ice cream shop for people with a studious sweet-tooth.


On the Rocky Road

“The only people for me are the chocolatey ones, the ones who eat chocolate to live, eat chocolate to be saved, desirous of everything delicious at the same time, the ones who never yawn or eat commonplace vanilla, but eat, eat, eat, the fabulous gooey marshmallows exploding across the chocolate.”

The Old Man and the Seasalt Caramel
“Then he was sorry for the great ice cream… How many people would it feed?.. But are they worthy to eat it? No, of course, not. There is no one worthy of eating it from the manner of it’s silky caramel and touch of salt.”

Life of Pumpkin Pi (Seasonal)
“The reason ice cream sticks so closely to pumpkin pie isn’t biological necessity; it’s envy. Pumpkin pie is so beautiful that ice cream has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can.”

The House on Mango Sorbet Street
“Ruthie sees lovely things everywhere. I might be telling her a joke and she’ll stop and say: The moon is beautiful like a balloon. Or somebody might be singing and she’ll point to a few clouds: Look, mango sorbet.”

Raspberry Greek Frozen Tragedies

“Tomorrow is tomorrow.
Future cares have future cures,
And we must eat ice cream today.”

Banana Karenina
“All the ice cream in the world was divided into two classes: one class included all the ice cream in the world without bananas, and they had all the usual ice cream flavors and were very ordinary; while the other class had no weaknesses and was superior to all.”

Love in the Time of Cheesecake
“Our inner lives are eternal, which is to say that what we eat remains as youthful and vigorous as when we were in full bloom. Think of ice cream as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the alpha and omega. An end in itself.”

Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Delicious (Mystery Flavor)
“There’s a logic at work—it’s all done for you, don’t worry. Enjoy it. Relax. To be taken in hand and led, like being a child again–it’s like being given a prize, an extra scoop of childhood.”

Coconut in the Rye
“That’s the thing about ice cream. Every time it does something pretty, even if it’s not much to look at, or even if it’s sort of stupid, you fall in love with it, and then you never know where the hell you are. Ice Cream. Jesus Christ. It can drive you crazy. It really can.”

The Blueberryest Eye
“If happiness is anticipation with certainty, this ice cream will always keep you happy.”