Books to Read When Mercury Is In Retrograde

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Your toaster’s broken. Your phone won’t work right. And you’re fighting with your special lady/gentleman/other. Why? Because Mercury’s in retrograde, and everything’s gonna suck for a while.

But! You are a strong, motivated person and will not give into the planets and the courses they weave, no matter how much they make you want to crawl under a blanket with a kitten and a box of Cheez-Its. You will fight this. With BOOKS.

Here are some helpful reads for now through October 9th.

1. The Enchanted April, Elizabeth von Arnim

This is about DETERMINED LADIES who are worn down by life and by God, they are just going to rent a castle in Italy and relax. When you feel guilty about taking a break from your frenetic life, read this and realize sometimes problems can only be solved by slowing down, draping yourself in artistic scarves, and posing beautifully by some begonias. This book should be read by everyone once a year.

enchanted april

2. Siddhartha, Hermann Hesse

JOURNEY BACK to ancient India and follow Siddhartha on his spiritual quest. By the end, you will realize you don’t need that broken toaster you were just lamenting because possessions are unnecessary and all we need is to live by a river or something.

3. On Love and Barley: Haiku of Basho

On a bare branch

A crow is perched –

Autumn evening

Yeah, you just TRY being involved in the transient problems of the world after contemplating that for 2 minutes.

4. Why Not Me?, Mindy Kaling

Mindy Kaling gets it, guys. She gets it.


5. The Little Book of Calm, Paul Wilson

Not only is it tiny and non-threatening, but it was referenced hilariously on the BBC series Black Books (which, if you haven’t seen, maybe you should stop reading internet lists and find that glorious show streaming somewhere).


6. Anything by Thomas Hardy

Yeah, life might seem tough right now, but at least you’re not a character in a Thomas Hardy novel.


Good luck. It’s rough out there.