Humor

Books We Hope Nobody’s Checking Out

Rachel Cordasco

Staff Writer

Rachel Cordasco has a Ph.D in literary studies and currently works as a developmental editor. When she's not at her day job or chasing three kids, she's writing reviews and translating Italian speculative fiction. She runs the website sfintranslation.com, and can be found on Facebook and Twitter.

You may have seen this recent story about the United Nations library and how its most “popular” book of 2015 was entitled – wait for it – Immunity of Heads of State and State Officials for International Crimes.

Yup.

Now, only a few people checked it out BUT STILL. Pretty disturbing. So of course we here at Book Riot started thinking about other examples of books we would hope certain people would not ever ever ever check out.

**Note that these titles were all made up by us and do not exist in the world (at least, we hope not).**

For-Dummies

Starbucks barista: How to Lose Fewer Fingers While Making Coffee

U. S. Secretary of Education: So You Wanna Teech Chilldrin How to Reed

Taxi/Uber driver: Car Insurance Fraud For Beginners

President of a major retail chain: How to Get Around Paying Your Employees Minimum Wage

Presidential candidate: How to Find (insert anywhere) on a Map

Investment advisor: How Not to Get Caught As the Ringleader of a Ponzi Scheme

Retail manager: Making Clothes Smell Brand New No Matter Where You Wore It

Dean at a university: Extracting Every Last Little Drop of Blood, Sweat, and Tears From Teaching Assistants While Paying Them Next to Nothing…For Dummies

Army officer: Marksmanship for Beginners

Head of the IRS: Idiot’s Guide to the US Tax Code

FDA employee: GMOs and You: Your Guide to Growing More

Pilot: How to Stay Awake and Alert: In the Now

Stock broker: Stocks for Dummies

Hotel manager: How To Start a Flea Circus With Bed Bugs

Doctor: Stitches In Four (Or Is It Three?) Easy Steps