Humor

Bookline Bling: A Parody

Jenn Northington

Director, Editorial Operations

Jenn Northington has worked in the publishing industry wearing various hats since 2004, including bookseller and events director, and is currently Director of Editorial Operations at Riot New Media Group. You can hear her on the SFF Yeah! podcast nerding out about sci-fi and fantasy. When she’s not working, she’s most likely gardening, running, or (obviously) reading. Find her on Tumblr at jennIRL and Instagram at iamjennIRL.

By Jenn and Amanda, with thanks to Drake’s Hotline Bling. Drake dancing with a book You used to call me on my cell phone, Late night when you need my recs Call me on my cell phone Late night when you need my recs I know when that bookline bling That can only mean one thing I know when that bookline bling That can only mean one thing Ever since I left the city you Got a reputation for yourself now Everybody knows you readin’ slash now Writing fic and fav’ing those headcanons now Cause ever since I left the city you Started watching TV less and readin’ books more Mugs of coffee on the living room floor Reading authors I’ve never seen before Ever since I left the city, you, you, you You and me, we just don’t get along You make me feel like I did your books wrong Bent back one spine, it wasn’t very strong Ever since I left the city you Reading all those books about some woods-elf Running out of places on your bookshelf Critiquing covers all by yourself These days, all I do is Wonder if you’re out there sharin’ Goodreads with someone else Wonder if you’re touring bookstores with someone else Citing things I taught you, reading out loud with someone else You don’t need no one’s recs You don’t need nobody’s picks, no Why your books never alone Why your books always touching road Used to keep ‘em at home, not such a book worm You was in the Strand, yeah You should just be yourself Right now, you’re someone else You used to call me on my cell phone…