Humor

Behind the Beard: Mark Twain and Other Hot Male Authors

I can’t beat Zoraida Cordova’s response (“Fuckleberry Finn”) so I am instead going to help you all out by sharing photos of other male authors you might not have known were hot stuff under their famous beards. You’ll be in your bunk.

Note: this post will suggest that men are sexier without beards. That is factually specious, but it cannot be denied that faces look different without beards. As it happens, I prefer a man with a beard, but in these cases I am quite enjoying the face behind the beard. (Stay tuned for a future post on hot lady authors.)

Langston Hughes

Best known for sporting a soup saver (aka mustache), young Langston Hughes is extremely kissable.

Ernest Hemingway

PLEASE SIR MAY I CALL YOU PAPA?

Anton Chekhov

You can show me your gun anytime. WINK WINK.

Herman Melville

With that clean upper lip, it’s easy to see that you’re a cunning linguist.

W.E.B. Du Bois

This man is so handsome I can’t even come up with a clever quip.

Shel Silverstein

Excuse you. Stop looking at me like that. IS IT WARM IN HERE?

Frederick Douglass

Does he disapprove of me, or want me? Can both be true? Pretty please?

Ralph Ellison

This one is a cheat because he was known for a mustache and has at least a shadow of a mustache here, but also MARRY ME RALPH.

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