AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. 02×15: One Door Closes
Agents Omer and Silver are the only agents left in Fury’s secret, forgotten stronghold, Uatu Station. Powered by several mysterious, undocumented artifacts, the agents in Uatu Station act as Fury’s eyes, and ears for they can see everything in every S.H.I.E.L.D. base in the world…even into the dreams of the agents in those bases. But with Hydra’s insurrection, these agents don’t even know for sure Fury is still reading their debriefings…but that won’t stop them.
COMPUTER: Begin debriefing File S2E15. Elapsed time, 15 minutes.
Agent Silver: Have you noticed that when Commander Gonzalez daydreams, the color seems to be washed out? I think he’s watched too many spy movies with all his “flashbacks”.
Agent Omer: He feels like a blue guy. Personally, I’m a golden hue type girl when it comes to my flashbacks but to each their own. Agent Hartley made a cameo! Both she, and Bobbi came in guns (and knife) blazing as agents do, and rescued Mac, and his nerdy pals from *spits* Hydra. Gotta love Fury, and his contingency plans even in death. Their mission? Save unkillable commander, and sink the ship.
Agent Silver: Hey now, we know only Coulson, and Skye have blue guy blood. Gonzalez is reliving his time during the Hydra insurrection. Again. When he had the broken leg, and he saved the ship from being taken by Hydra instead of following Fury’s orders, and blowing it up. If anyone knew how often these commanders lived in the past, I doubt anyone would follow them.
Agent Omer: It worked out well for us. But it looks like Bobbi, and Mac have been suckered since Day 1 of the fall. At the very least, they’re the victims of some really messed up version of Hunger Games but with a spy agency. It reminds me of that time Fury had us play an intense game of Survivor during a potluck…I still flinch whenever I see a laser pointer.
Agent Silver: I was in budapest during that time… ugh… But yeah, I know Fury likes to let his enemies’ plans play out… wheels within wheels, and stuff, but we’ve been telling him about Bobbi, and Mac for weeks now. When is he going to deal with it?
Agent Omer: Fury works in mysterious ways…
Agent Silver: Alright, so we’re now monitoring Skye in the house that Banner built for when he needed to “research.” Yeah, hopefully she doesn’t look too closely, there’s a lot of Hulk damage to the hidden walls there, probably going to be- OH!
Agent Omer: It seems like Banner got a little…angry. I’m sorry. I had to. Huh, we have nothing in our files about that eyeless guy, Gordon. He claims to be similar to Skye in that he interacted with the crystal mist…
Agent Silver: Have you noticed how his teleportation looks a bit like electric wings coming out of his back to form a sphere?
Agent Omer: What? No, it doesn’t.
Agent Silver: Play back the tape, Johnny!
COMPUTER: Begin playback…
Agent Omer: Fine. You were right. Also, we’re not calling the computer Johnny. I voted for Tabitha.
Agent Silver: I voted for Phil. So now we have Fitz, and Gemma finding out that Bobbi, and Mac are really the bad guys, and OH LOOK, HERE COMES OTHER-S.H.I.E.L.D. No one saw that coming.
Agent Omer: Man, these guys are so heavy handed, might as well call themselves S.W.O.R.D.
Agent Silver: So it’s all coming to a head. S.W.O.R.D. has taken the base. May is the only one who is competent enough to save Coulson. And Coulson escapes with Fury’s toolbox.
Agent Omer: Aren’t you skipping something?
Agent Silver: OK. Fine. Gonzalez spends a TON more time playing “THIS IS MY LIFE.”
Agent Omer: Why are the cameras bouncing everywhere? Why are we seeing Skye again?
Agent Silver: Sorry, I skipped ahead. After Gordon left, she received a panicked call from May, and S.W.O.R.D. is coming for her.
Agent Omer: You mean second S.H.I.E.L.D…
Agent Silver: I mean “We’re calling them S.W.O.R.D. because second S.H.I.E.L.D. is dumb”
Agent Omer: Fine fine. Do you think Thor could withstand that blast? Or would he tumble over like one of Stark’s shot glasses?
Agent Silver: Unclear, that could have been a weak tree. We have no idea where Gordon took Skye. She’s not appearing on any of our scans. What about Coulson, where do you think he is?
Agent Omer: Tahiti, I’d bet.
Agent Silver: Ugh, the magical place all over again. Oh, Phil.
Agent Omer: “Oh, Phil”
Agent Silver: *Side-eye*
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