Lists

6 Bizarre Fictional Meals

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Jan Rosenberg

Staff Writer

Jan Rosenberg is a playwright, novelist, and screenwriter living in NYC. She received her B.A in Playwriting & Fiction from The New School. She writes plays about things that scare her. I.E: she has written lots of plays. Her play 'What's Wrong With You' was a Eugene O'Neill Semi-Finalist, and her work has been developed with several theater companies. She has written reviews of Broadway shows for Show Business Weekly and Theater Is Easy. Her pilot episode 'Treat Yourself' is a dark comedy about Eating Disorder recovery. When she's not reading or writing, she's usually coloring, making out with dogs, or playing video games. She worked as at The Strand Bookstore for 4 days, where she discovered she had a fear of standing on ladders. Twitter: @kickthejan

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Why are Fictional Meals so appetizing? I’m a self-proclaimed Fictional Foodie. I’ve always been fascinated by descriptions of food in books. Growing up, I adored The Boxcar Children, The Little House On The Prarie, and Gary Paulsen’s Hatchet series. Any story with runaways, orphans and castaways having to forage for “supper” made my imagination run wild. I now know that if I’m ever stranded on an island, I can eat turtle eggs (thank you, Gary Paulsen). And you can make a balloon out of a pig bladder (a gem I learned from Laura Ingalls Wilder).

I’m not the only reader who appreciates a good fictional meal. Photographer Dinah Fried’s collection 50 Fictitious Dishes features famous literary meals, and it’s the perfect book for bookworms and foodies alike.

Inspired by Miss Fried, I compiled a list of the most bizarre fictional meals. Because I like to keep it weird, and many of the books on this list come straight from my personal library. Thanks to my fellow Book Rioters for adding their own beloved fictional meals!

Warning: these fictional meals have little nutritional value. In fact, some are not technically meant to be digested, and may in fact make you lose your appetite.

Bon appétit!

YOU TOO CAN HAVE A BODY LIKE MINE: Kandy Kakes

If I had to guess, I’d say Kandy Kakes are a weird hybrid between a Twinkie and a Quest Bar. With lots of artificial coloring. The addictive snack cakes are so popular that the narrator can never seem to find them in stores.

THE BLUE GIRL: Moon Pies

Secret ingredient: secrets.

ORYX AND CRAKE: Chickie Nobs

Are Chickie Nobs the future of fast food chains? If Margaret Atwood wrote it, I believe it.

WHITE IS FOR WITCHING: Chalk

Due to a rare eating disorder called Pica, the heroine of this creepy novel has constant cravings for chalk.

AMERICAN PSYCHO: Godiva Chocolate Cake (Or is it?)

Patrick Bateman gets a bad rap, but he’s such a thoughtful boyfriend. He surprises his girlfriend with a Godiva Chocolate Cake. Where did he purchase it? Erm…the men’s room.

SILENCE OF THE LAMBS: Liver with a side of fava beans and a fresh Chianti

Slightly more appetizing than brains.