Humor

Michelle Motivates Barry

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Annika Barranti Klein

Staff Writer

Annika Barranti Klein likes books, obviously.   Twitter: @noirbettie

We at Book Riot enjoy speculating (privately, for the most part) on what might cause a book such as Barack Obama’s presidential memoir to be delayed. Is it strategic, e.g. the publisher waiting until after the primaries to release it? Does Barry have writer’s block? And of course, we wonder how his wife, Michelle Obama, author of the record-breaking bestseller Becoming, might try to motivate him.

Well, wonder no more. I have obtained TOP SECRET footage from the Obama residence, transcribed below.

INT. OBAMA RESIDENCE – NIGHT

The camera tracks down a long hallway, past the open door to BARACK OBAMA’s study, from which we hear the tap-tap-tapping of typing on a computer keyboard, past an empty dining room, and finally into the kitchen, where MICHELLE OBAMA is making a vegetable omelet. She deftly FLIPS it onto her plate, pours herself a glass of water, and sits at a small table. She picks up a remote from the sideboard and turns on the TV.

TV NEWS ANCHOR
(Off-screen)
It was reported today on Twitter that Barack Obama’s next book, a presidential memoir expected out this year, has been delayed. The source, who is reportedly close to the writing process, said only that the book will not be published this year.

Michelle FREEZES with a forkful of omelet halfway to her mouth.

EXTREME CLOSE-UP

Michelle’s eyes narrow.

MICHELLE
Close to the writing process?
I’ll show them close to the writing process.

CUT TO

INT. BARACK’S STUDY – CONTINUOUS

BARACK is sitting at his desk, typing. On his desk are photographs of MALIA and SASHA and a pile of papers. On the wall, a HAMILTON poster. There is a small powder room off the study.

EXTREME CLOSE-UP

Barack’s fingers stop typing and his right index finger hovers over the delete key.

Hold.

Hold.

Hold.

Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete.

MEDIUM

Barack stands and stretches, walks over to his bookshelf, scans titles. Shakes his head. Walks back to his desk and sits back down. Picks up some papers from the top of the pile, flips through them. Sets them back on the pile. Types some more. Stands, stretches again, and walks into the powder room, shutting the door.

A beat.

Michelle walks into the room holding a copy of her record-breaking bestseller, BECOMING. She places it on Barack’s desk atop the pile of papers, then quietly leaves the room.

EXTREME CLOSE UP

Michelle’s record-breaking bestseller, BECOMING.

OFFSCREEN, the sound of a toilet flushing, then a sink running.

MEDIUM

Barack comes out of the powder room and walks back to his desk. He stops when he sees Michelle’s book. Laughs out loud. Picks it up and walks it over to the bookshelf.

PAN TO

Michelle is watching Barack from the hallway. Silent. Unmoving. Watching. In her hands, another copy her her record-breaking bestseller, BECOMING.

PAN BACK

Barack turns suddenly toward the door. Did he hear something?

CUT TO

INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

The spot where Michelle was a moment ago. It is empty.

CUT TO

INT. STUDY – CONTINUOUS

Barack sits down again at his desk. He straightens the papers. He begins typing again.

BARACK
I get it, Michelle. Your book came out on time.

CUT TO

INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

Michelle is sitting at the table, finishing eating her omelet. The TV is off.

MICHELLE
You’re damn right, it did.

FADE OUT.


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