Humor

Words Romance Novels Have Ruined for Me

Ashley Holstrom

Staff Writer

Ashley Holstrom helps make books at Sourcebooks. She lives near Chicago with her cat named after Hemingway and her bookshelves organized by color. Newsletter: Crooked Reads. Twitter: @alholstrom.

If you read romance, you know how it goes: words get new sexual meanings, because EUPHEMISMS ARE FUN! And then the word is ruined in your brain forever.

The other day, I was reading a very not-romance book and saw the word “mound” and was like, “oh dang, this just took a sexy turn,” but no, it was about a mound of ants. It’s fine.

Words romance novels have ruined for me

Here are the words romance novels have ruined for me, and I’m sure they’ve now been ruined for you, too. Sorry not sorry.

Delectable. Chiseled. Delicious. Supple. Electric. 

Mound. Folds. Essence. Core. Entrance. Slit. Bud. Sheath. Center. Wet. 

Member. Spurt. Throbbing. Manhood. Length. Bulge. Rigid. 

Caress. Scorch. Cup. Tease. Circle. Roll. Knead. Glide. Stroke. Ache. Crave. 

Fill. Enter. Thrust. Probe. 

Tremble. Growl. Hiss. Moan. Quiver. 

Pulse. Juices. Nectar. Release. Erupt. Explode. 

Whew. Did it just get hot in here?