I Wish They Would Read More: Diary Entries of a Disappointed Dilettante

August 4, 2018

Dear Diary,

I wish my boyfriend would read more. All he ever talks about is video games. I want to talk about poetry! I want to talk about the things poets express that others can barely even feel. I wish he could understand even a fraction of the references I make to John Keats. Am I being unreasonable if all I want is for him to recite Ode to a Grecian Urn out loud to me just once? Does he not think I am an unravish’d bride of quietness? Because I can be an unravish’d bride of quietness, especially after a glass of red wine. I bet from time to time he does think I am an unravish’d bride of quietness, but his unread mind will only allow him to say that I am “being weird.”

via GIPHY

August 6, 2018

Dear Diary,

I wish my friends would read more. They just don’t get me. They’re all, “Why do you read so many books? Why not just watch The Handmaid’s Tale with us like a normal person?” and when I say, “Because Margaret Atwood is a brilliant contemporary thinker!” they just look at me like I have six heads. How did I become friends with people who think watching the TV version of a book is the same, if not better than, reading the book? Do they even know who Margaret Atwood is? I mean, I watch Game of Thrones but that’s just because I’m personally not into fantasy. But Margaret Atwood may literally be predicting our futures. They don’t seem to care or get that?

August 12, 2018

Dear Diary,

I wish my parents would read more. Every time I go home I try to have an intelligent conversation with them about what we’re reading, who we’re voting for in the next election, etc., and they’re just like “oh same old same old.” I want them to take me seriously! I mean, I have a minor in English literature, I could actually probably recommend some good books to them. Like my mom, for example, is always talking about how she loves good short stories. Hi mom, maybe you could check out Jhumpa Lahiri?! But since she “doesn’t have time to read” she “only reads books that she already owns.” I mean how many times can you read The Shipping News by Annie Proulx? Yes, it is a great book, but there are so many more to discover! Like has she even heard of Ottessa Moshfegh. Doubtful. SMH.

August 30, 2018

Dear Diary,

I wish people in general would read more. Today I was at the bank depositing my check (to buy more books, obviously!!) and the teller’s computer froze. She called over to her supervisor who happened to be named Stella. She said, “Stella, can you help me for a second?” Stella said back to her, “Sorry I missed that, what did you say?” And like any good bookworm, I yelled out “STELLAAAAAA!!!!” as loud as I could. She looked at me like I was crazy! I’m not crazy; I just wish more people read books.

via GIPHY

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