Your Book Stacks Might Be Out of Control If…

Today I was minding my own business and reading–as I usually am–when I received a text message with a random suggestion for Ikea furniture that may help with my book stacks. Being that I had mentioned to no one that I needed a bookshelf–nor thought I was having a problem with unmanageable book stacks–this was an odd suggestion to receive. I wondered in my Carrie Bradshaw voice over “If you start getting random texts suggesting Ikea bookshelves, are your book stacks out of control?”

And now my Carrie Bradshaw voice over and I wonder what else might be a clue that your book stacks are out of control?

If being buried in a book avalanche is a possibility, are your book stacks out of control?

If dating a firefighter is out of the question because your book stacks make your room a fire hazard, are your book stacks out of control?

If your cats refuse to stop perching on stacks and are starting to look like Weebles, are your book stacks out of control?

If stubbing your toe not only hurts but sets off a domino effect that ends up looking like Godzilla visited, are your book stacks out of control?

If visitors ask why you have so many books without a hint of jealousy in their voice, are your book stacks out of control?

If you’ve started to get lost in the maze of book stacks and are needing to leave snacks laying around for when you wait to be rescued again, are your book stacks out of control?–asking for a friend.

If the above has left you wondering if apps exist that would alert your friends when you’re lost inside a maze, are your book stacks out of control?

If you’re wondering if wearing some of your books will free up some space, are your book stacks out of control?

If the floor is now a different color beneath the book stacks, are your book stacks out of control?

If playing loud music endangers the perfect balance of every stack, are your book stacks out of control? (Closing windows, doors, and talking too loud also apply.)

In related news, if the last time you had an allergy attack you had to stay outside until you finished sneezing, are your book stacks out of control?

If you buy the ebook rather than pulling a book from the bottom of a gigantic stack, are your book stacks out of control?

If you’ve Googled “making a bed out of books,” are your book stacks out of control? (Also applies to making a table out of books but never applies to making book forts.)

Which brings me to the truly important question: If your life goal is to read all the books, is there such thing as too many books?

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