I’m almost as addicted to Girl Scout Cookies as I am to fairy tales, and I had to wonder, which cookies would some of my favorite fairy tale children sate their sweet teeth with, bombarded by tiny business ladies outside the supermarket?
Nibble, nibble, I hear a louse!
Who’s that nibbling on my house?
– From The Original Folk & Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm, translated by Jack Zipes
“Hansel and Gretel” – Lemonades
I suspect Hansel and Gretel are the type to eat something in remembrance of their escape from the witch and sudden wealth thanks to the inexplicable abundance of jewels and pearls in her house. They would make a little house, not of gingerbread, but of icing-topped Lemonades to remember the sour, the sweet, and the cake and sugar house they stumbled upon after being left to the beasts by their parents.
…the false nurse put the children into a pot, and having sealed it carefully, cast it into the sea.
– From Forty-four Turkish Fairy Tales, collected and translated by Dr. Ignácz Kúnos
“Sister and Brother” – Thanks-A-Lots
Here’s another brother-sister tale, but this time with a bit of brine. They might want to send a deliciously sarcastic box of Thanks-A-Lots to the cruel nurse who threw them in the ocean for a shake of employee-employer revenge. Fear not; it ends happily ever after or, as this is a Turkish tale, with a feast that lasts forty days and forty nights.
Blanche did as she was told and broke the eggs behind her as she went. Diamonds came out of the egg. Then gold came, and a beautiful carriage full of fine dresses.
– From Her Stories: African American Folktales, Fairy Tales, and True Tales, told by Virginia Hamilton, and illustrated by Leo & Diane Dillon
“Good Blanche, Bad Rose, and the Talking Eggs” – Trios
Did you know Trios are the only Girl Scout Cookies that contain eggs? Things I learned. Blanche was such a good girl–she didn’t deserve the poor treatment she got from her mother. What she did deserve was a lifetime supply of cookies, but I guess diamonds, gold, and finery will do. I was tempted to choose Savannah Smiles but Georgia was a little far east for this Louisiana Creole tale.
Down, down, to the deep and shady,
Pretty mer-maidy, take me down!
– From Her Stories: African American Folktales, Fairy Tales, and True Tales
“Mary Belle and the Mermaid” – Thin Mints
I couldn’t help myself! I love this book so much I couldn’t choose just one story, just like I can’t eat just one Thin Mint. When Mary Belle, starved and thirsty, visited the mermaid “what lives in the water” who treated her to a food and a cool drink, I imagine that drink was as refreshing as a burst of carvone. Fair warning: the ending of this South Carolina chantefable is sad as an empty box of Thin Mints.
Here is a slender youth whose hair and face
All mortals envelope with light and gloom.
Mark on his cheek the mark of charm and grace,
A dark spot on a red anemone.
– From The Arabian Nights, translated by Husain Haddawy
“The Story of the Two Viziers, Nur al-Din Ali al-Misri and Badr al-Din Hasan al-Basri” – Rah-Rah Raisins
Oh, Badr al-Din Hasan who, with his fine figure and beauty mark, would grow up to bewitch even a couple of demons in a cemetery. Life is never easy, especially for the beautiful, in fairy tales, but maybe he would’ve taken heart from a sleeve of Rah-Rah Raisins, studded with their own raisin and Greek yogurt chunk beauty mark. Moral of the story: underseason your pomegranate dish and live happily ever after.
P.S. Samoas are the best though.