Comics/Graphic Novels

AGE OF ULTRON Needs More Disney Songs

Christine Hoxmeier

Staff Writer

Christine Hoxmeier can usually be found hard at work in her beloved home of Austin with a cup of coffee in one hand and a taco in the other. She spends her free time reading, writing, and dreaming of a teleportation device so she can visit her friends spread across the globe on a daily basis. If it were possible to live inside one Disneyland attraction for the rest of her life, Christine would cheat and choose to split her time between It's A Small World and The Enchanted Tiki Room. She prefers to communicate in CAPSLOCK and with gifs. Twitter: @aramblingfancy

Do y’all remember the Avengers: Age of Ultron teaser trailer? The one with a super creepy and ominous version of the classic Disney song, “I’ve Got No Strings”, playing over shots of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes looking sad? When Disney bought Marvel, I guess I had hoped we would get happier mashups of two of my favorite things. Instead, all I got was Ultron’s head menacingly singing “There are no strings on me”. I was rewatching Age of Ultron recently, and I couldn’t help but think that this story could have gone in a very different direction if only Ultron had latched onto another Disney standard, like, I don’t know, The Little Mermaid’s “Part of Your World”.
ultronariel

Imagine an Ultron who didn’t want to sever all ties and strings to the human race and destroy it, but instead yearned to be a part of this world!

Using your wires you only get so far,

Flesh is required, for touching, feeling!

Hmmm. Okay. Maybe Ultron would still be awful and want to kill us all. But look, I am positive that the rest of the movie could have been improved by using more Disney songs.

Tony Gaston Stark
I use arc reactors in all my decorating!

My what a guy, Iron Man!

Hulk's Reflection

WHO IS THAT HULK I SEE

STARING STRAIGHT BACK AT ME

 

WHEN WILL HULKS REFLECTION SHOW

WHO HE IS INSIDE

Hawkeye Lumiere

Be our guest! Be our guest!

Put our safe house to the test

Cap & Tony, go chop some wood

Then maybe get some rest

Snow Thor White

I’m wishing

(I’m wishing)

To understand my dream

And explain

(explain)

The infinity stones to everyone

and help set up phase 3 of the MCU

Today

(Today)

Natasha Will Make a Hulk Out of You

Let’s get down to business

To defeat

Ultron.

Why did they send me Banner

When I asked for Hulk?

Now all we need is a current Disney pop star to sing “When You Wish Upon An Avenger” over the closing credits.