Top 10 Spoilers for Avengers: Age of Ultron (that I just made up)

You've got something in your nose... it bothers me...

You’ve got something in your nose… it bothers me…

 

1. Did you see where Hulk put on the Hulkbuster armor, and Cap picked up Thor’s hammer and War Machine’s rocket boots??? I don’t really get why Hulk asked Ultron if he can bleed and follow it up with “because you will.”

2. I can’t believe Hawkeye and Quicksilver die, and I’m really curious about them hugging while drowning in lava.

3. I’m really not happy with Fury recruiting Howard the Duck at the end… why is he taking over our surprise post-credit scenes?

4. The third climax was outstanding but feels so rushed. When Stark went to China to summon that massive dragon, it’s pretty clear that the dragon had CGI’d purple pants on. What the hell, Joss?

5. Did Bendis write this script? Why else would they end it with “No More Ultron”?

6. Wait, and after that Wanda totally freaks out over changing reality and says, “I meant, ‘No, MORE Ultron!”

7. Why was there a second post-credits scene where Fury recruits Stilt-Man to the Avengers?

8. That monologue where Banner psyches himself up to make him angrier he’s ever been was cool, but listing his rage against “bronies” is really out of place.

9. I can’t believe the entire thing was a prank by Loki, what a kidder.

10. It was kind of kitschy that the final infinity stone was “inside you the whole time.”

This was a weird, weird movie.

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