If shipping and fan-fic is in your wheelhouse, don’t miss Shipwreck on May 28! At Brooklyn’s premier literary erotic fan-fiction competition, six great writers will compete with their Moby-Dick character fic. Get tickets and details here.
What’s dating like in the Wizarding World? Our intrepid reporters report back from the Leaky Cauldron, The Hog’s Head, The Three Broomsticks, and more to bring you the latest in wizarding pick-up lines. Fair warning: Much like the Harry Potter books themselves, this list gets more mature as it goes on.
1. Is this the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like you and I are headed somewhere magical.
2. Accio! Sorry, just trying to get my heart back from you.
3. Someone call the Dementors ‘cause lookin that fine must be a crime.
4. You clearly got your OWL in Charms.
7. I’m the opposite of an Elf. I only really feel free without any clothes.
8. Did someone just cast expelliarmus? Because you’ve got me completely disarmed.
9. Girl, you are finer than the difference between a hex and curse.
10. Bet you can’t guess what Bertie Botts flavor I am.
11. Your broom must be tired, because you’ve been flying through my dreams all night.
14. Where are you going? We haven’t managed all of our mischief just yet.
15. No, my wand is in my other pocket. I’m just happy to see you.
16. I’d seek your snitch any day.
17. Thanks to that body, the Dark Lord has risen again.
20. There’s more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.
21. It’s nine inches of wood with a dragon core and it didn’t come from Ollivander’s.
22. Before she met me, she was just Myrtle.
23. There are other advantages to speaking Parseltongue.
26. Come with me and I’ll show you why it’s called the Shrieking Shack.
26. I hear Filch has lots of chains in his office, wanna try them out?
27. Trust me, you won’t need a Time Turner to come again.
28. I’m a Gryffindor. You’re a Slytherin. Let’s go find a Ravenclaw and turn this into a Triwizard Tournament.
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