Humor

Daggers “R” Us: The Internet Browser Histories of Literary Characters

Liberty Hardy

Senior Contributing Editor

Liberty Hardy is an unrepentant velocireader, writer, bitey mad lady, and tattoo canvas. Turn-ons include books, books and books. Her favorite exclamation is “Holy cats!” Liberty reads more than should be legal, sleeps very little, frequently writes on her belly with Sharpie markers, and when she dies, she’s leaving her body to library science. Until then, she lives with her three cats, Millay, Farrokh, and Zevon, in Maine. She is also right behind you. Just kidding! She’s too busy reading. Twitter: @MissLiberty

chrome3Winnie-the-Pooh: ‘honey’ ‘honey recipes’ ‘how to treat bee stings’ ‘how to get a honey pot off your head’ ‘does Build-a-Bear deliver’

Willy Wonka: ‘how do you get chocolate out of velvet’ ‘patent applications’ ‘oompa loompa temp agency’ ‘howard hughes fan club’

Miss Havisham: ‘bridal registry’ ‘Ikea’ ‘wedding dresses’ ‘how to pick the best caterer’ ‘guest books’ ‘cake toppers’ ‘Ikea return policy’ ‘how long will an unrefrigerated cake last’

Owen Meany: ‘BASEBALL CARDS’ ‘HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS’ ‘BABY JESUS COSTUME RENTALS’ ‘PROPER WAY TO CLEAN A STUFFED ARMADILLO’ ‘INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER LAWS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE’

Jay Gatsby: ‘me’  ‘me’  ‘me’  ‘me’  ‘me’  ‘me’  ‘me’  ‘me’  ‘me’

Werther: ‘Lotte Twitter account’ ‘Lotte Facebook account’ ‘Lotte Pinterest account’ ‘Lotte Instagram account’ ‘Lotte Tumblr’ ‘Lotte Snapchat’

Boo Radley: ‘how to tell if you are an introvert’ ‘good places to hide gum’ ‘symptoms of agoraphobia’

Professor Moriarty: ‘insurance coverage for criminal masterminds’ ‘blind German mechanics’ ‘IQ of Sherlock Holmes’ ‘which evil literary genius are you’ ‘helen mirren naked’

Sam-I-Am: ‘house rentals’ ‘where can I buy a mouse’ ‘boxes’ ‘fox rentals’ ‘rent-a-car’ ‘train schedule’ ‘weather forecast’ ‘solar eclipse schedule’ ‘goat rentals’ ‘how do I charter a boat’ ‘symptoms of salmonella poisoning’

Fagin: ‘child labor laws in london’ ‘pickpocketing for dummies’

Lady Macbeth: ‘Daggers”R”Us’ ‘stain removers’ ’causes of somnambulism’

Hodor: ‘hodor’ ‘hodor’ ‘hodor’ ‘hodor’ ‘hodor’ hodor’ ‘hodor’

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