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12 Signs You’ve Been Binge-Reading

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Susie Rodarme

Staff Writer

Susie Rodarme is obsessed with small press literary fiction and tea. Other notable skills: chainmaille weaving, using Photoshop semi-correctly, and drinking gin.

Don’t act like you don’t do it. We all do.

1. You have physical withdrawal symptoms when you finish a series.

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Even though you’re out of series reading material and you’re forced to go cold turkey, you find yourself longing for a little taste of that fictional world. “C’mon, man, just a little bump; y’know, some scenery and maybe a little snappy dialogue and I’ll be straight for a week. Swearsies.”

2. Book scenes are starting to supplant your own memories.

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Am I me? Who is me? If I am my consciousness and I have spent the better part of the week pouring my consciousness into book after book, what percent book am I? #existentialquestions

3. You’re dreaming about the books you’re reading.

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This isn’t snarky, it actually happened to me last night after reading Doctor Sleep. Which is damned good, by the way.

4. You can’t remember the last time you looked at food while you were eating.

not looking at food
(image via Mashable)

CAN’T LOOK MUST READ

5. Also, you might be forgetting to eat on the reg.

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I don’t need food, I have words.

6. And when you do stop to eat, you get it over with fast so you can get back to reading, AKA the most important thing.

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7. Not being able to get the next book that you want to read is an immediate crisis.

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How can you be expected to survive when the library only has books 1, 3, and 7 in a series available and you need the others right now?

8. And suddenly, you’re in credit card debt.

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“Are you sure you can’t get a drone to deliver those to me tonight?”

9. You realize it’s been days since you had a conversation with another real person.

Jessica Lange AHS

And you’re calling bullshit on me right now because of course characters in books are “real people.”

10. When someone interrupts your reading, you mentally threaten to cut them if they don’t shut up.

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Or maybe overtly and out-loud threaten to cut them.

11. You’ve spent every night that you can remember recently cuddled up with a mug and a book and you’re not remotely sorry.

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#sorrynotsorry

12. Your Goodreads notifications are out of control.

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You’ve been blowing up the internet with every book to you add to your “read” shelf and your review backlog is intense.

How do you binge read?

(gifs from: Trainspotting, Memento, IT, The Simpsons, 30 Rock, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Futurama, American Horror Story, Parks & Recreation, Beauty and the Beast)