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10 Plans that Went Awry in this Week’s AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

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Agents OF S.H.I.E.L.D. 02×19
“The Dirty Half Dozen”

As we approach the premiere of Age of Ultron, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. works to wrap up its loose ends before 10 pm next Tuesday (or so we’re led to believe). Episode 18 deals with everyone’s plans being laid out and falling apart terrifically.

Plan the first: Fitz shakes his tails and will be safe with Coulson and not have to worry any more.

Fails: Coulson immediately informs Fitz that they’re going to team up with the a-hole who gave him brain damage

Angry Fitz

You’ve got to be kidding me!

Plan the Second: Jiaying plans on ditching Cal out in the real world.

Fails: Skye insists on going with him for now and maintaining a relationship.

You've got to be kidding me!

You’ve got to be kidding me!

Plan the Third: May and team are about to retrieve a super laser that will finally cut open Fury’s vibranium toolbox.

Fails: Simmons informs May that she switched the toolbox out for a phony and Fitz has the real one.

Annoyed May

You’ve got to be kidding me!

 

Plan the Fourth: Coulson and Ward use Bakshi to get to Dr. List to get to Baron Strucker.

Fails: Bakshi betrays them and captures Deathlok and Lincoln for Hydra.

Plan the Fifth: Lincoln will watch over Skye as she and Cal go to Milwaukee and hang out.

Fails: Captured by Hydra with Deathlok.

You've got to be kidding me!

You’ve got to be kidding me!

Plan the Sixth: Skye will make sure Cal gets taken in by S.H.I.E.L.D. since she’ll be ditching him.

Fails: Hydra attacked first.

Plan the Seventh: Cal will take Skye ice cream and pastry shopping.

Fails: The Internet killed sweetshops (apparently).

Skye Cal Ice Cream Sandwiches

You’ve got to be kidding us!

Plan the Eighth: Hydra will find the teleporter.

Fails: They found Skye and Cal instead.

Plan the Ninth: Gordon will jump in and save Skye and abandon Cal.

Fails: Cal jumps in at the last second. They might turn into a combined creature like The Fly, but that wasn’t shown in the previews for the next episode.

You've got to be kidding me!

You’ve got to be kidding me!

Plan the Tenth: Cal was going to raise a happy family in Milwaukee.

Fails: Cal becomes a super strong psychopath who has to put his wife back together like Frankenstein’s monster and his daughter goes missing and becomes the main subject of a mini-conspiracy before accidentally becoming an earthquake-inducing Inhuman.

Literally the only plan that succeeds in this episode is Simmons’ plan to get into Deathlok’s eyeball feed. The episode even ends with Coulson turning himself into other-S.H.I.E.L.D. Nothing works out, but boy are we entertained.

Additional Facts:

  • Skye knows her name was Daisy Johnson.
  • Strucker is holed up in Eastern Europe.
  • Cal was part of Doctors without Borders and was going to raise a family in Milwaukee.
  • Coulson will be teaming up with the very people chasing him.
  • Cal likes Funyons.

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