Who Said It: Donald Trump or Vernon Dursley?

Obsessed with money and appearances. Dislike of anyone who doesn’t look like him. Inability to listen to reason. Xenophobia. Bootstraps. Fascinated by big shiny, automobiles. Once you start comparing Donald J. Trump and Vernon Dursley, the similarities are uncanny. Don’t believe me? Try to guess which villain made which of the following statements.

  1. “Capital punishment isn’t uncivilized; murderers living is.” 
  2. “No need to tell us he’s no good. Look at the state of him, the filthy layabout! Look at his hair!”                                   
  3.  “I can never apologize for the truth.”
  4.  “Some people aren’t meant to be rich.”
  5.  “Little tyke wants his money’s worth, just like his father.”
  6. “They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us.”
  7. “Give ‘em a lifelong siesta, I would.”
  8. “Watching … spying … might be following us…”
  9. “You think I’m going to change? I’m not changing.”
  10. “Always fight back and always get even.”
  11. I think if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it’s literally going to cease to exist.
  12. “You’ve ruined the punch line of my Japanese golfer joke!”
  13. We were too damn soft for our own good.”
  14. “I’m a counterpuncher. I don’t have a choice.”
  15. “No, we’ll ignore it. If they don’t get an answer… yes, that’s best… we won’t do anything…”
  16. “Every successful person has a very large ego.”
  17. ‘These people’s minds work in strange ways…they’re not like you and me.”
  18. “We have some bad, bad people in this country that have to go out.”
  19. “If you don’t tell people about your success, they probably won’t know about it.”
  20. “You’ve been rotten from the beginning and I’ve had enough.”
  21. “You’re living in a world of the make-believe.” 
  22. “When will they learn that hanging’s the only way to deal with these people?” 
  23. “How can our great society tolerate the continued brutalization of its citizens by crazed misfits?”
  24. “As if a normal boy cares what’s on the news.”
  25. “And you’ll be sticking to that story or there’ll be trouble.”
  26. “I won’t do anything to take care of ‘em [kids]. 
  27. ‘These people’s minds work in strange ways…they’re not like you and me.”
  28. “Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich.”
  29. “Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.” 

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Answers:

  1. DJT-An advertisement taken out by Trump in the New York Daily News and other newspapers in the wake of the arrests of the Central Park Five (May, 1 1989)
  2. VD-Prisoner of Azkaban
  3. DJT-Media Buzz, July, 2015
  4. DJT– Playboy, 2004
  5. VD-Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone
  6. DJT-Presidental announcement speech, June, 2015
  7. VD-Prisoner of Azkaban
  8. VD–Sorcerer’s Stone
  9. DJT-Press conference, May 2016
  10. DJT–Twitter, May 2013
  11. DJT–Playboy, March 1990
  12. VD-Chamber of Secrets
  13. VD-Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone
  14. DJT–Interview with CNN’s Erin Wallace following super classy comments he made about Megyn Kelly
  15. VD–Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone
  16. DJT–Playboy, 1990
  17. VD-Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone
  18. DJT-October, 2016; third Presidential Debate
  19. DJT-Trump: How to Get Rich (2004)
  20. VD-Order of the Phoenix
  21. DJT-Interview with Chris Wallace; August 2015
  22. VD-Prisoner of Azkaban
  23. DJT-An advertisement taken out by Trump in the New York Daily News and other newspapers in the wake of the arrests of the Central Park Five (May, 1 1989)
  24. VD-Order of the Phoenix
  25. VD-Prisoner of Azkaban
  26. DJT–Interview on the Howard Stern show, November 2005
  27. VD-Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone
  28. DJT–  Interview with Ashleigh Banfield on ABC’s Good Morning America (March 17, 2011)
  29. DJT, as quoted in “Trumped!” by John O’Donnell, former president of Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino. Trump hasn’t read the book (*gasp!*) but has said it’s “probably true.”
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