Audiobook Problems

Audiobooks are awesome, especially because I always want to be reading and find it really hard to walk my squirrel-obsessed dog with a giant hardback.  (I’m sure it is POSSIBLE, but it would probably end in doom.) It’s not always a perfect solution though. Here’s a couple of problems my fellow rioters and I have encountered:

You realize that the book isn’t as postmodern as you thought; you’ve just been accidentally listening to it on shuffle mode

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You end up listening to a terrifying audiobook on your phone with headphones while walking your dog at night.  Suddenly someone calls you and you lose your shit. Protip: don’t listen to Birdbox while walking your dog in the dark in a wooded area.

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You accidentally skip all the way back to the beginning of a section…and you can’t remember where your place was.

 

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You listen to a book at work and suddenly there’s an unexpected rather graphic sex scene, and your boss chooses that moment to walk by your desk.

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 Someone starts trying to have a serious discussion when you are five minutes from the end of the book because they don’t see your headphones. No, random gentleman in the park, I don’t want to go out with you I NEED TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN AT THE END OF THE FIREMAN!

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The narrator speaks really slowly and (to your horror) you realize you’re using a program that doesn’t have speed-change options…but you really want to listen to this book

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You want to listen to your audiobook in the pool but you just know your cell is gonna end up taking a dip too.

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You love the book but the narrator has decided to either pitch their voice higher or drop very low when changing between characters of different genders.

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You get your earbuds’ cord tangled with something that yanks them out of your ears and you suddenly find yourself trying to jam them back in your ears as if it’s a do-or-die situation because even though you can rewind it doesn’t feel like you can and OHMYGOD you’re missing words being said.

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You try to bounce back and forth between the physical book and audiobook, trying to keep your place without going too far and accidentally spoiling something.

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But I think we all agree, its definitely worth it. How else can I squeeze in extra reading while also being dragged around town by my dog?

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