39 Killer Literary Roller Derby Names

While we at the Riot are taking this lovely summer week off to rest (translation: read by the pool/ocean/on our couches), we’re re-running some of our favorite posts from the last several months. Enjoy our highlight reel, and we’ll be back with new stuff on Wednesday, July 8th.

This post originally ran Feb. 10, 2015.
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If you’ve never been to a roller derby match, I can promise you that you’ve never seen anything more simultaneously terrifying and thrilling and kick-ass. A few years ago, a friend of a friend was in a league and I used to meet up with them and the rest of their teams after matches at a bar. The girls were fierce and bruised and also incredibly welcoming, despite the fact that they had just spent the last hour shoving and elbowing and tripping each other.

They also had really killer derby names – which every skater will tell you is crucial – like Flux InCapacitator and Jam Reaper and Scarin’ Blockovitch. (“Jam” and “block” are derby jargon.) And if I couldn’t love it more (without actually strapping on a pair of skates myself), the level of puniness is off the charts in roller girl names.

So obviously, I wondered, what would you get if you crossed a book lover with a roller girl? Turns out there’s a helluva lot of literary-inspired derby names that have already been registered.

There are some themes; Harry Potter names is a big one, as are classic lady characters and fairytales. These are the 39 best (or at least my favorites) in the derby database:

  1. Grimm Scarytales
  2. Little Grr Maid
  3. Agatha Crushdie
  4. Luscious Malfoy
  5. Hermione Danger
  6. Pain Eyre
  7. Tess of the DerbyWheels
  8. Alice in Woundherland
  9. Sylvia Wrath
  10. Malice Walker
  11. Scratcher in the Eye
  12. Emily Deck’erson
  13. Anais Ninja
  14. Harlot O’Scara
  15. Soylent Mean
  16. Mary Choppins
  17. Tragedy Ann
  18. Katniss Evermean
  19. Mad Splatter
  20. Malice in Wonderland
  21. Sherblock Bones
  22. Rudyard Crippling
  23. Holly GoBiteMe
  24. Wilma Shakesfear
  25. Pippi Longstompings
  26. Tackleberry Finn
  27. JayK Rolling
  28. Danielle Steel (if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it)
  29. Rapunchel
  30. Block Beauty
  31. Lady MacDeath
  32. Fifty Shades of Mayhem
  33. Robin of Blocksley
  34. Arya Snark
  35. SinderHella
  36. Give ’em Hell Vetica
  37. Killbo Baggins
  38. Luna Shovegood
  39. Killer Mockingbird

Pretty badass. I’m definitely a SinderHella. So what would be your derby name?

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