This post originally appeared on Panels, which is now Book Riot Comics
Agents Omer and Silver are the only agents left in Fury’s secret, forgotten stronghold, Uatu Station. Powered by several mysterious, undocumented artifacts, the agents in Uatu Station act as Fury’s eyes and ears for they can see everything in every S.H.I.E.L.D. base in the world…even into the dreams of the agents in those bases. But with Hydra’s insurrection, these agents don’t even know for sure Fury is still reading their debriefings…but that won’t stop them.
COMPUTER: Begin debriefing File S2E16. Elapsed time, 15 minutes.
Agent Omer: Whoa, we’re getting a feed on Skye!?
Agent Silver: Yeah, there was something in a note somewhere about subcutaneous multiple cameras and microphones after her incident in the Kree temple.
Agent Omer: That… That’s pretty creepy and invasive.
Agent Silver: Sure is! Now what’s up with the magical acupuncture?
Agent Omer: I’m pretty sure it’s not actually acupuncture… from the sounds of their 1000 years of advanced evolution it’s probably just a sign that they have better toys than us.
Agent Silver: Needles that fade into my arms are not among the toys I wanted as a child.
Agent Omer: Computer, please note that Kree-weaponization transformation is called “terragenesis”.
COMPUTER: Noted, Agent Omer. Reminder, please feed mutated monkey #7, “Mojo”.
Agent Silver: Ok, feed’s switched now to Gonzalez and the crew of S.W.O.R.D.–
Agent Omer: Really? Still using S.W.O.R.D.?
Agent Silver: I’m not saying “other S.H.I.E.L.D.”… So Gonzalez is ranting again. He’s so afraid of everything. He wants Coulson and Skye on the index? He can’t get over not knowing what is in the toolbox?
Agent Omer: Oh! Did you see his nightmare last night? He woke up in a cold sweat after waking up just before they revealed who shot J.R.
Agent Silver: What? That was like 30 years ago! They have it on DVD!
Agent Omer: Guy’s paranoid about not knowing, what can I tell you.
Agent Silver: Oh yeah, that’s what being snubbed feels like, Gonzo.
Agent Omer: Glad to see that FitzSimmons have no interest in working with S.W.O.R.D. They probably could get into Fury’s toolbox and that would very likely be no bueno.
Agent Silver: Whoa, wait, back up a sec? Gonzo thinks that their loyalty proves how dangerous Coulson is? I’ve seen spooks less paranoid than this guy.
Agent Omer: Ok, feed is shifting again. Looks like Coulson’s reached Banner’s bachelor pad.
Agent Silver: Oh good, he’s finding the video evidence that Skye’s left with Gordon… and I just remembered we have no way of telling Phil anything about Gordon and terragensis.
Agent Omer: “Phil” will just have to work it out without you by his side…
Agent Silver: Wait, are you browsing back to… Are you taking screenshots of Lincoln? Now that’s creepy and intrusive.
Agent Omer: Oh, look here, Lincoln is explaining what’s going on with the descendents and terragensis. Apparently no one likes Skye because they all have to wait in line for generations and she skipped ahead. This could be bad.
Agent Silver: No kidding, I’d be willing to wager my MRE that Reina and Calvin are in the area too. This spells bad all around.
Agent Omer: Signal’s switched back to S.W.O.R.D.. Looks like Jemma is trying to get the toolbox open. What does she mean it’s a “lab” problem, not a “tech” problem?
Agent Silver: UGH! Computer, pause playback, Omer, please feed the monkey!
Agent Omer: OK, we’re back at S.W.O.R.D., let’s skip ahead. Jemma uses this opportunity to convince Fitz to leave. And she slips him the toolbox! Very nicely done.
Agent Silver: Pretty sneaky move and very well played, but this is definitely going to go bad when Gonzo finds out. OK. Shifting again, we’re going back a few minutes here. Looks like we’re at the bachelor pad.
Agent Omer: Scanners from that time show a small squad of agents and a battering ram.
Agent Silver: That door will only hold for about an hour. Coulson is talking about backup, but says it’s only one person. Oh man, I hope this isn’t one of those “I made it up because I didn’t want you to realize I was sacrificing myself” moments.
Agent Omer: Maybe he called Fury! We’ll just have to see how it plays out. Now fast forward…. Ah, here we go.
Agent Silver: Didn’t we see that in a movie? Something about the greatest criminal mind of our time?
Agent Omer: No, that was a clip from an old Monitor station feed they show at the academy. We aren’t supposed to talk about that anymore. No watcher station crossovers.
Agent Silver: Ok, well anyways, we should skip past Coulson being captured because who wants to see that–wait, is that?
Agent Omer: Deathlok! I guess Coulson has a chance after all.
Agent Silver: I never doubted for a second.
Agent Omer: Alright, so the feed is back on Skye, and whoa, there’s Raina. She doesn’t look too great. And now that Skye’s trying to kill her she’s looking worse.
Agent Silver: Yeah, I already watched that part, some scarred lady stops her and asks to give her a few days to train her in the ways of the force. And if she wants to leave, they “never have to see each other again.” I like how she doesn’t quite say Skye can just leave… that’s not ominous.
Agent Omer: You just skipped two important notes. You’re so bad at this.
Agent Silver: I skip nothing of importance.
Agent Omer: You skipped that Coulson, Hunter, and Deathlok are going after Ward and you skipped that Lincoln and Skye (before it all fell apart) were having a nice little flirt over some popcorn.
Agent Silver: I’m sorry if I don’t look too closely when I take obsessive screenshots over my new boyfriend, Lincoln.
Agent Omer: “Oh Phil….”
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