Talking During The Movie: Amazing Spider-Man 2

This post originally appeared on Panels, which is now Book Riot Comics

A month or so ago, fellow Panelteer Peter  and I realized we had drastically different opinions about Amazing Spider-Man 2. He loved it. I hated it.

We thought it’d be fun to rewatch the movie and live gchat through it to see why we’d responded to it so differently. Then we thought it’d be fun to let you fine folk join us! (If you’re feeling like you really, really want to join, go ahead and press play right before you start reading.)

 

Peter: SONY LOGO. I have no clever commentary about a Sony logo.

Preeti: Same. Other than PLZ GIVE BACK TO MARVEL. Jerks.

Peter: I dunno, I kinda worry Spidey will get lost in the Marvel shuffle.

Preeti:  I just want him interacting with Iron Man and Cap

Peter: …Okay, I DO want Spidey interacting with Iron Man and Cap. But particularly WOLVERINE. Imagine, Andrew Garfield and Hugh Jackman in a scene.

Preeti: RIGHT

Peter: I didn’t like the whole “Peter’s parents” story, yanno? It’s too TIDY. Spiders are from his parents, and Oscorp, and all of that…

Preeti: Ok question: why are his parents so old?

 

Amazing-Spider-Man-2-Peter-Parkers-ParentsPeter: “Bye Peter! We have to leave you! You’ll get to go to Hogwarts at 11 so it’s okay! Bye!”

Preeti: Hahahahaha

Peter: OLD PEOPLE can have babies too. It’s ALLOWED.

Preeti: Eeeggghhhh. So old.

Peter: What YEAR is this with his parents? That they have a useful laptop and internet on a plane?

Preeti:  Peter why are you poking holes in the plot that is my job.

Peter: Hey, I never said the movie wasn’t full of holes, just that it was the BEST.

Preeti: HAHAHA
(Pastes Spock logical fallacy gif)
Wait whose private jet is this?
Parkers don’t got no cashhhhh.

Peter: You know what would fix the messy plot, I realized the other day? If all these plots were expanded into a TRILOGY of Spidey films, instead of stuffed into one. This would make an amazing trilogy.
I hadn’t thought of that. Whose plane IS THIS? Oscorp? But Why?

Preeti: Exactly! THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.

Peter: The plane then crashes on…the LOST island.

Preeti: HOW IS THE WIFI STILL WORKING DURING A PLANE CRASH

Peter: Oh that’s why this old laptop is so super useful. It’s a SONY VIAO! I should go buy a SONY LAPTOP after this film!
Too bad this wasn’t a SONY PLANE.
Okay, say what you will about this film, I LOVE this opening Spidey shot. The trumpets. The logo. His BACK.

Preeti: Yes ok, LOVE the parts where he is actually Spidey.

Peter: And this GoPro camera on Spidey’s belt, kinda shot. It’s COOL.

Preeti: But that’s like 4% of the movie.

Peter: My ongoing nitpick with these two films: Spidey has rubber-soled shoes on his costume. So how do his feet stick to walls?

Preeti: MAGIC.
Steven Strange hanging in an alley

Peter: I WAS KIDDING with the HARRY POTTER REFERENCE

Preeti: HAHAHA
Also why does this movie need Rhino, Electro, AND Goblin?

Peter: See? Rhino, Electro AND Goblin would make a great trilogy.
Also glad they returned to a classic spidey costume in this film. I didn’t like the one in the last ASM. This clumsy, bumbling, sweet Jamie Foxxx character is my FAVORITE Jamie Foxxx character.

Preeti: If they rewrote electro tho bc — oh no our first big disagreement. I hate how stereotypically nerd he is.

Peter: He’s so sweet and relatable! I agree with you that he needed a redemption at the end, but he was such a lonely dweeb. All the villains are usually angst-ridden and then EVIL.

Preeti: Right but not giving him redemption goes against the Spidey philosophy since he’s a good guy.

Peter: Yeah, and I have zero argument there. You were totally right.
The Spider-Man theme is Spidey’s ringtone. Awesome! But WHAT song is that in Spidey’s world? Cause it ISN’T the SPIDEY THEME.

Preeti: He wrote it himself to be his own ringtone obviously. OR it’s one of the things where other people profit off his likeness because he can’t sign forms since he’s unwilling to unmask.

Peter: “Denis Leary, will you return for the sequel but just stare menacingly once or twice?”

Preeti: Hahahaha yes!

Peter: I love the Rhino’s SUPER RUSSIAN accent. He literally sounds like hes out of Rocky & Bullwinkle

Preeti: Yeah they were not subtle in this movie — though that’s canon.

Peter: Hey look a Steve Ditko cameo! Oh wait, never mind, it was Stan Lee.

Preeti: HAHAHA YEAH RIGHT.

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Peter: Fully half of my love of this movie is that I am so in love with both both Emma Stone AND Andrew Garfield. They are the best.

Preeti: I think they get Spidey and his cockiness SO PERFECT but then totes don’t get Peter :-/

Peter: Really? You don’t think he’s a good Peter? … And now let’s watch THIRTY-YEAR-OLD Andrew Garfield graduate high school!

Preeti: I think he’s a decent Peter, but the writing is ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh for Peter’s characterizations.

Peter: Sally Fields is a great Aunt May. WAY better than in the Maguire movies.
And, yeah, he doesn’t get a ton of room to really explore Peter and the character, I can see that.

Preeti: Agreed about Sally Fields!

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Preeti: WHAT IS THAT dumb face
Is he pooping
Or trying not to fart

Peter: OMG dammit no don’t say that.

Preeti: Uuggghhh so much angst so early.

Peter: See, the plots great, it’s the PACING that’s all weird here! It really should be a trilogy of films dammit. LET ME CALL SONY. Also, Andrew Garfield doesn’t do angst well. He’s funny and clever and cocky, not angsty.

Preeti: CALL THEM RIGHT NOW. And exactly! He doesn’t!

Peter: I might be angsty if Denis Leary were haunting me too, you know.

Preeti: Ok fair point.
It makes it all weird bc real peter just wouldn’t show up here.

 

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Peter: This scene was so weird. They’re such a GOOD funny couple when they couple-fight, breaking up just didn’t fit.

Preeti: Yeah it’s so weird.

Peter: “I break up with you Spider-Man. I’m going to see Birdman!”

Preeti: WHO IS MY REAL FATHER.

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Peter: I LOVED this kid and this scene.

Preeti: Ok I love this part.

Peter: I just NOW realized that’s the kid from the end of the film. I am super attentive.

Preeti: Oh Peter hahaha.

Peter: Also I loved this whole montage, of him saving people and taking off his costume in weirder and weirder conditions.

Preeti: I love sick Spidey!

Peter: AND I loved this scene, where he’s SICK Spider-Man in a holdup. And SNEEZES in his mask. I want a six-issue comic of sick Spider-Man!

 

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Preeti: Hahahaha

Peter: GWEN’S HUUUUUGE PINK SHOES.

Preeti: There is def a series where he’s super cold in the snow hahaha

Peter: YES! My favorite Spider-Man run from the 90s!
I LOVED this sequence, I laughed so hard.
“I’m okay I’m just….I’m very naked right now.”

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Preeti: Lololol same.

Peter: “We have no chimney.”
“Whaaaaat?”
I died laughing, in the theaters, at that line.

Preeti: Uuuugghhhh ANGST.
I’m so angry, fuck this briefcase!

Peter: It’s SLIGHTLY BETTER than the endless Uncle Ben “great power great responsibility” angst though. And now, Jamie Foxxx in MISERY.

Preeti: Ugh poor mentally unstable Jamie Foxxx.

Peter: I just realized all his villains are mentally unstable, aren’t they?
Doc Ock talked to his arms. Green Goblin and Hobgoblin are bugfuck nuts. Jamie Foxxx is not well balanced at ALL here…

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Preeti: King Pin isn’t.

Peter: I mean Electro. Jamie Foxx is probably fine. I mean in the movies so far, not the comics.

Preeti: Ooh yeah definitely.

Peter: Who would even play a movie Kingpin now that Michael Clarke Duncan is dead? He was the perfect Kingpin.

Preeti: Oh he totally was — Vincent D’onofrio is doing it in the Daredevil series I think.

Peter: I can see D’onofrio, yeah.
“NO ONE WASHES A FLAG!”

Preeti: WHO EATS A SANDWICH FOR BREAKFAST

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Peter: I REGULARLY eat a sandwich for breakfast, I am so crap about breakfast food. Breakfast is just FIRST LUNCH for me.

Preeti: ooommmgggg who are you Aunt May?

Peter: DON’T JUDGE ME.

Preeti: PLOT POINT PPL ARE MEAN TO MAX

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Peter: I loved this scene. “DON’T YOU SAY A THING ABOUT SPIDER-MAN”

Preeti: But it’s so heavy handed it hurtssss.
Ooh nice use of the word besmirch, Max.

Peter: He didn’t need that COMB-OVER though.
I WILL ANNOUNCE YOUR FLOOR TO THE ELEVATOR, WOMAN.

Preeti: ALSO HERE’S ANOTHER WAY I’M SAD AND HAVE NO FRIENDS
Like that’s the saddest.

Peter: Imagine if the WHOLE movie stayed with Max’s POV and Spidey just went in and out of this tragic film.

Preeti: Oof Dane DeHaan please call me.

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Peter: See, and this Harry Osborne cure/corporate intrigue plot? That’s movie TWO in the trilogy.

Preeti: I know. SO MANY PLOTS.

Peter: SERIOUSLY, about Dane.
He was in a SURREAL AS HELL Metallica concert/movie/apocalypse called THROUGH THE NEVER and he was amazing.
“Son…I haven’t much time. I need to convey your plot to you before I go.”

Preeti: He looks like a young Leo DiCaprio so I am sold.
Haha plot!!!!!!

Peter: He DOES kinda look like a young Leo. He does angst better. And he has killer eyebrows.

Preeti: Agreed.
Ugh this is making me miss Willem Dafoe.

Peter: Dafoe was great but he was stuck in SUCH a cheesy role. He was SUCH a power rangers villain…

Preeti: I loooooved it hahaha

Peter: ADAPTATION left me permanently thinking that Chris Cooper is missing is two front teeth, and I’m surprised in all his other films.

Preeti: Oh yeah same about Chris Cooper.
What is this, plot thread number SIX?

Peter: I miss Jameson from the other films. THAT was a show-stealer.

Preeti: Ugh agreed. JK Simmons was made for that role.

Peter: And again, it’s ALL I THINK OF when I see JK Simmons in anything else.

Preeti: Sameeeeeee.

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Preeti: HARRRRRRRRRY!!!!!

Peter: BLIMEY ‘ARRY

Peter: Okay, so THIS scene bugged me.

Preeti: SO DUMB

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Peter:
You’re telling that at a massive MEGA-CORPORATION like OsCorp…EVERYONE JUST GOES HOME at 5?

Preeti: Srslyyyyyyy eels?!

Peter: The whole staff just LEAVES like it’s an INDIE BOOKSTORE?

Preeti: HAHAHA

Peter: What if he’s got EEL POWERS instead of ELECTRICITY. So he hid in cracks and had an extra jaw and a TINY shock.

Preeti: HAHAHA ALREADY A BETTER MOVIE
Also why is Jamie Foxx like the only black guy who works at Oscorp.

Peter: OsCorp works on the Hollywood system. You just need the one Token Black Guy.
The place could be FULLY STAFFED and he’d be fucked, doing electric work like this! NO WONDER NO ONE LISTENS TO HIM

Preeti: Where is all the safety equipment ?!

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Preeti: OH BUT IT FIXED HIS TEETH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT ABOUT HIS VISION?

Peter: This shit is ALWAYS Happening with eels. Fuckin’ eels. What assholes.

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Peter: This bald corporate bad guy looks like Armin Shimmerman, who played Quark on DS9, and that’s ALL I can think about him

Preeti: Oooooh yeah I see it

Peter: Someone told me this girl, that Harry talks to, Felicia, was someone in the comics but I can’t remember WHO.

Preeti: Wait not Felicia hardy? Oh shit but that is Felicity Jones from The Theory of Everything.

Peter: I don’t know who that is. I am so outta touch.

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Preeti: ANGSTY SHADOWED SHOT

Peter: GIVE ME YOUR COAT, ANDREW GARFIELD.

Preeti: Ughhhh so unbelievable.

Peter: And then they kiss and wait no that’s not this movie.

Preeti: I’D LOVE THAT MOVIE.

Peter: Harry Osborne’s sunglasses are the WORST.

Preeti: Oh I like themmmm.

Peter: They’re weird on his face shape. They make his ears look pointy.

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Peter: I always wonder how much of these scenes are just Andrew Garfield being himself. Did they TELL him to climb over that?

Preeti: I guess that’s Spideyish.

Peter: “Harry, let us go to the beach and convey our backstories relative to this film.”
“Ok, Peter.”

Preeti: DON’T TALK SHIT ABOUT NEW YORK HARRY.

Peter: I just realized Peter’s camera strap is mainly PINK.

Preeti: Aunt May got it for him obvi.

Peter: “He wears spandex and rescues kittens from trees.” He also STICKS TO WALLS and SWINGS FROM WEBS so you know it’s a bit cool HARRY.

Preeti: YEAH HARRY

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Preeti: Hey look it’s not Jason schwartzman

Peter: NOT Armin Shimmerman talking to NOT Jason Schwartzman
BWAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM *Electro gets up* BWAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM

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Preeti: Orrrr a frost giant from Game of Thrones maybe.

Peter: SHUT UP. Now I can’t UNSEE THAT.

Preeti: YOU’RE WELCOME

Peter: I thought he looked COOL as Electro. In a Dr. Manhattan sorta way. Better than the green and yellow costume from the comics…

Preeti: OMG BE SAD MORE PETER

Peter: I love this scene. These are the scenes that sell the movie for me. It’s a ROM-COM with occasional Spider-Man moments.

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Preeti: PLAY MORE SAD SONGS.

Peter: It’s great, for variety! Like having “Political thriller with Captain America” moments in Winter Soldier.

Preeti: But I want a Spider-Man movie with occasional rom com moments.

Peter: Just for you, they tried to stuff THREE Spider-Man movies AND a rom-com into THIS movie. YOU’RE NEVER HAPPY.

Preeti: IT’S BC THEY’RE SHOVING A MILLION SCENES OF PETER CRYING DOWN MY THROAT.

Peter: They’re so CUUUUTE and they’re a couple in real life and they’re CUUUTE there too and aggghhh it’s just SO CUTE.

Preeti: I AM THROWING UP AT YOU.

Peter: ARE YOU EVEN WATCHING THEM LOOK AT THEM THEY ARE THE CUTEST

Preeti: I WANT MORE FIGHT SCENES.

Peter: ARE YOU ACTUALLY A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD BOY.

Preeti: ARE YOU A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL.

Peter: KIND OF.
WAIT.
HANG ON.

Preeti: We’ve had like ONE fight scene.

It’s bullshit.

Peter: Spidey films are ALWAYS 10% fight scenes 90% “Peter is stressed”

Preeti: Nooooooooooooo
Ok the geography I’m this movie is making me crazy.
It’s like we’re in the city then DUMBO then the city but uuggghhh so much subway time.

Peter: See, I haven’t been to New York since I was nine, so the geography doesn’t even occur to me. Is it really insane?

Preeti: So insane
“PS ENGLAND” – Gwen
“#sorrynotsorry” – Also Gwen

Peter: I love the England thing later! It’s a UNIQUE thing to films, rom-com or otherwise.
“England. I’m actually from there. For I am actually HELLA BRITISH”

Preeti: Hahahahahaha

Peter: I like to think the Dubstep isn’t the soundtrack, it’s ACTUALLY Electro. He generates Dubstep wherever he goes.

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Preeti: PS Gwen watch my shit thx

Peter: HOW did he just launch outta his converse sneakers, those things are HARD to get out of. I don’t get how he keeps picking things up with electricity…

Preeti: Also did he just hear that on like 14th and 11th ave from 42nd st and broadway?!
I am not making a comment about cops overreacting here that’s for sure.

Peter: SERIOUSLY though. The cops cause the WHOLE PROBLEM.
Aren’t his sneakers rubber-soled? Shouldn’t that not conduct electricity in a puddle?
I feel SO BAD for Max. I really adored him so much.

Preeti: Maybe they just LOOK rubber.
I know! We should feel bad for him and then they just make him evil!!!!

Peter: Yeah. Once you mentioned how he should be redeemed, it was all I could think about. I still love this movie, but that IS a hard thing to get past. He’s a tragic character, but they mes up his arc…
Also WHY is there a crowd? Because I would be RUNNING LIKE HELL. This isn’t WWE or something.

Preeti: Also where did these voices coming from?
METAAAAALLLLLLL MUSIC BREAK

Peter: 90s Nu-Metal, that’s where.
Again, I get why people hated it, but I dug the weird voices. It felt like ANXIETY in Max’s head.

Preeti: OH NO TKTS BOOTH

Peter: Okay, also I get why people bagged on THIS scene, but I liked it. Even if it was nuts. Because are you telling me Spidey is faster than ELECTRICITY.

Preeti: I know but they come outta nowhere.

Peter: “It’s my birthday. Now it’s time for me to light my candles!” He went from scared and tortured to Super Villain puns REALLY FAST.

Preeti: RIGHT.
Also how come no water came out do that fire hydrant? Awfully convenient.

Peter: It had all been diverted for a later scene. 🙂

Preeti: Because Peter did not think that through.
Hahaha ok fair.

Peter: “Good talk.” Come on, Gwen. SOME slack. He just saved Time Square.

Preeti:  Helloooooo sailor.

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Preeti: HEY LOOK NERDS HAHA NERDS. This movie makes fun of nerds a lot 🙁

Peter: That’s cause NERDS SUCK HAHAHAHA *pumps iron* *rides motorcycle*

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Preeti: UGH MOAR SAD PETER WHAT A SURPRISE.
HOW DO I HANDLE MY FEELINGS.

Peter: I really like this song, THO.

Preeti: ONLY INDIE ROCK WILL HELP.
Yeah, me too haha.

Peter: At least he uses google and not “FindIt” or “SuperWebSpyder” or some shit.

Preeti: That’s because he uses Bing in the first one and everyone was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right.

Peter: did he use Bing and not Google? Shit. Of all the moments to LOOK DOWN.

Preeti: In the first one. I was looking down too so I don’t know about this one hahaha.

Peter: We can’t BOTH look down!

Preeti: YEAH DUDE

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Peter: I REALLY REALLY want to make a big wall collage for a project, a novel or ANYTHING. I love them SO MUCH.

Preeti: Omg I was just about to be like look at Peter’s psycho wall.

Peter: I WANT A PETER PSYCHO WALL.

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Peter: I ALSO want a desk-computer that I can put stuff on.

Preeti: YEAH SCIENCE NERD PETER MY FAV

Peter: I ALSO loved “Peter tools around in his garage and blows stuff up”
Also WHY does he have that scuba suit?

Preeti: Science nerdy Peter is my fav Peter.
Maybe it was uncle bens hahaha.

Peter: WRENCH! Then phone. Bwahahaha.

Preeti: Ok srsly Harry just make out with Peter already.

Peter: “I need to see you” “Harry I don’t know what to say. I have these feelings too.”
bwahahaha we went to the same place at the same time

Preeti: HAHAHA great minds etc.

Peter: “Great minds turn movies into slashfic.”
“Spider-Man”
“What about him?”
“He does whatever a spider can.”

Preeti: “Get Spidey. THEN TAKE OFF UR SHIRT”

Peter: I want a transparent desktop computer too!

Preeti: Hahaha but then everyone would know when you were dicking around and not working.

Peter: I love that he shortens “Harry” to “Har.” Pronounced HAIR. What a nickname.

Preeti: HAHA so clever.

Peter: “Your nickname is Har.”
“Then yours is Pee.”

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Preeti: “JUST SAY YES.”
“Also I love you.”

Peter: SAY YOU WILL SAY YOU WILL GIMME ONE MORE CHANCE
“Well you’re crazy AND hugging me! I GOTTA GO”

Preeti: I do like this scene I think

Peter: With Gwen and Peter? I do too. I like that Gwen never really NEEDS Peter. He’s useful, but she’s GOT THIS.

Preeti: Yeah same.
But talk about not passing the bechdel test.

Peter: Yeah, not even remotely…

Preeti: SHUT UP PETER

Peter: “He’s dying.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s dying.”
SUPER CLARIFICATION PETER.

Preeti: Yeah ok into that kissing stuff.

Peter: I LOVE the slapstick scene, when they come out, and it’s Peter just messing with the security guards.

Preeti: Lol yeah that’s my fav.

Peter: And then the jump heel-click after. Classic Peter.
“Gwen Stacy”
“AAAAHHH LURKING HARRY”

Preeti: Yeah why so unnecessarily creepy Harry

Peter: Dane has the spookiest blue eyes.

Preeti: Omg but I love them. I’d let him creep me out with those eyes any time.

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Preeti: “BC SHE DOESN’T LOVE HIM LIKE I DO.”

Peter: To CALM YOU DOWN let’s look at a weird german dude.

Preeti: Oh plot thread # A MILLION.

Peter: WHY was he kept in WATER?

Preeti: WHO TYPES WITH RUBBER GLOVES

Peter: HOW THE SHIT does he type in those huge rubber gloves

Preeti: This lab is ridiculous

Peter: He’s super cliche german. And named Kafka. I mean jeeze.

Preeti: So dumb.

Peter: “You locked me in a prison that runs on electricity” JOKES ON YOU THIS IS A STEAM PRISON SON.

Preeti: *breaks out monocle and top hat*

Peter: I ALSO just beat the shit out of my laptop when trying to activate things.
Electro you’re BLUSHING.

Preeti: Omg I wish the Electric Slide had played when he said that.

Peter: “DON’T YOU KNOW? I’m SPARXXX.”
“That is a terrible name.” “I DON’T CARE.”

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Preeti: I’m looking at your crazy ass psycho wall, Peter.

Peter: Hey Peter when did you turn into a serial killer be honest ok.

Preeti: I’m sorry Peter are you talking shit to aunt May about LYING. I mean really. With no irony?

Peter: He was killed by Voldemort okay, Peter.
This movie kinda hints later that Aunt May’s got it all figured out and knows he’s spidey, but they never clarified…

Preeti: Yeah. I’d watch that comic come to screen for sure though.

Peter: She was a GREAT Aunt May though, wasn’t she? I really liked Fields here.

Preeti: Man, Sally Fields is so good at crying.
Ugh forget this backstory though and THE STUPID SEKRIT SUBWAY CAR I HATE IT

Peter: The weird thing is, her big reveal about Peter’s parents isn’t all THAT shocking or awful, since she instantly disbelieves it…

Preeti: You’re right Peter it DOESN’T make any sense.
Yeah seriously.

Peter: Okay, that subway car was DUMB. And I mean, the power comes on and it just works? The COMPUTER just boots up and carries on? My MODERN computer doesn’t manage that.

Preeti: RIGHT.

Peter: “Maybe everyone has a side they hide” SIGNIFICANT GLANCE.
All the hinting, WE think is Aunt May knowing he’s Spider-Man, but it turns out she’s just trying to get him to admit he’s gay.

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Preeti: Ugh I get more and more attracted to Dane DeHaan the sicker he looks what is wrong with me

Peter: It’s okay, he’ll turn into an INSANE HAIRY GOBLIN DUDE later and that should CURE YOU

Preeti: That’s true!

Peter: Ladies love a dude with OOZING GREEN PUSTULES.

Preeti: Ewwwwww. Ok calm down Harry not everyone wants your money.

Peter: He actually made things WORSE by coming to see Harry, instead of just being hard to find.

Preeti: Yeah but that happens to Peter all the time hahaha.
OMG PETER STOP BEING SELFISH AND BOMBARDING GWEN RIGHT BEFORE HER INTERVIEW.

Peter: I love Peter just SMASHING into the WALL
I know right? He’s SO self-absorbed here, AND sounds like he’s having a nervous breakdown
You KINDA see when Gwen starts going “Maybe I should go to ENGLAND super quick”

Preeti: And then boom I’m leaving for England IMMEDIATELY.
That skirt is far too short for an interview Gwennie.

Peter: Yeah, that outfit is WEIRD for an interview.
Maybe that’s why all MY interviews go so badly.

Preeti: You gotta pair with tights not high socks.

Peter: Given that Peter has SUPER STRENGTH that calculator should have smashed through THE WHOLE HOUSE.

Preeti: THIS IS SO DUMB.

Peter: I want Andrew Garfield Spidey living with his whole SHIELD team in the house, like in the cartoon.

Preeti: SAME.

Peter: “Mister Osborne? You all right”
“No, super angsty. I am HELLA ANGST”

Preeti: I TALKED TO SPIDER-MAN AND HE INFECTED ME WITH ANGST

Peter: Bwahahaha.

Preeti: The information is hidden in “special projects” DUN DUN DUN.

Peter: Spider-Man made me ugly cry! I’ve got Tobey Maguire syndrome.
Imagine the smudges and drink stains on your glass computer-desk.

Preeti: Yeah seriously.
Good god there are so many white people in this movie

Peter: Basically EVERYONE is white except for Jamie Foxx, who they turned BLUE as fast as possible. Thanks, Hollywood!

Preeti: Eghhh yeah.

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Preeti: I’ll miss you, Harry. I love you, let’s get married.

Peter: That’s the only reason you wanted to watch this with me. You just wanted to stare at Harry some more. I KNEW IT

Preeti: Noooooo of course not never *fast fwds to harry**

Peter: I wish there were Bruce Campbell cameos in THESE movies too. He should cameo in EVERY Spidey film.
NO FAST FORWARDING. We have SUBWAY TIMES NAO.

Preeti: THIS IS THE DUMBEST

Peter: I mean WHO BUILT THIS? Oscorp? His parents themselves?

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Preeti: Really those computers have just been on forever. Through black-outs etc. And no dust.

Peter: Also it’s been empty that long? It would be full of ACTUAL SPIDERS. It would be Peter Parker’s ARACHNAPHOBIA movie.

Preeti: RIGHT. Man my computer is like a year old and doesn’t work that fast.

Peter: “My name is Richa” BUFFERING “ard Parker. Whatever li”BUFFERING “es are to”BUFFERING
“Norman Osborne has said I’m not all about the game.”
These are the WORST GUARDS.

Preeti: There is literally no security at the lab where they are keeping a danger electric human being.

Peter: Would a high security prison HAVE a fire alarm like that? And would everyone IMMEDIATELY LEAVE when it was pulled? Cause I DOUBT IT?
Andrew Garfield said this film was edited all to hell BY the STUDIOS, and I’d love to see a director’s cut of it…

Preeti: Omg so there would be even more crying Peter?!

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Preeti: SO HOT RIGHT HERE THO HARRY
Oof that lighting is doing him all the favors

Peter: “Electro I must free you your skin lighting makes me look sexy”

Preeti: AND NOW KISS

Peter: I NEED YOU. I CAN’T QUIT YOU
YOU ELECTRIFY MY SOUL MAX MY SOULLLL

Preeti: SHOW ME HOW TO QUIT YOU

Peter: Imagine this whole movie BUT as a team-up with Wolverine.

Preeti: YES I WANT THAT “quit your bitching, kid, lets go”

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Peter: Okay, so THIS SCENE is cool but it kinda breaks the rest of the film

Preeti: Awwww cute shorts boo

Peter: For one, how does he MAKE RUBBER CLOTHING?
For another, if he can DEMATERIALIZE how does Spidey ever punch him?

Preeti: Ugh and this whole thing is so awful.

Peter: And now, back to THE CUTEST BEST parts of the movie, with Peter and Gwen rom-com’ing.

Preeti: Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Peter: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.
(doo doot doo doo doo)

Preeti: OH GOOD MORE TEARS
There wasn’t enough crying

Peter: I been kilt by Dr Electro Manhattan!

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Preeti: Where’d that suit come from?

Peter: He MADE IT. He can MAKE RUBBER SUITS.
I’d maybe be less of a corporate asshole dude if the guy could SHOOT ELECTRICITY.

Preeti: Aye dios mio crazy Harry.
YEAH poor judgment

Peter: See, it was cool! Him into a power socket. But how does Spidey EVER fight that

Preeti: He overloads him!

Peter: Yeah, but he PUNCHES him a lot first.

Preeti: Ok goodbye hot Harry. Just know that I loved you.

Peter: He makes a cool goblin though! I like his goblin a lot.
If Norman wasn’t actually the Green Goblin, is Harry here the Green Goblin or the HOBGoblin

Preeti: Green, I think.

Peter: That’s what I thought too. Which is so weird. It works okay, but it leaves out the awesome Hobgoblin storyline.

Preeti: Hahaha he kind of becomes Puck from A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Peter: Agggh he DOES now I can’t UNSEE THAT.

Preeti: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Peter: Why am I watching this with you I keep being able not to UNSEE THINGS.

Preeti: Again you’re welcome.

Peter: “Stop the cab!”
“Lady I ain’t even movin’!”

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Peter: Between this and Batman’s flaming batman logo, can superheroes ONLY communicate by defacing bridges?
OKAY. SO. THIS SCENE.
What I love about THIS SCENE is, unique to rom-coms or ANYTHING
He offers to GO WITH HER. Not make a big impassioned plea for her to give up her dreams and STAY there with him

Preeti: Ok fairrrrr.

Peter: He doesn’t try to give up Spidey and put THAT on her, he doesn’t try to make her STAY. He’s willing to just GO. I mean, that’s a really big cool thing.

Preeti: It is buuuuttttt also the rest of this movie is bad.

Peter: You are the OPPOSITE of RIGHT.

Preeti: JUST WAIT TILL YOU READ THE TRANSCRIPT OF THIS.

Peter: I HATED the airport/hospital stuff, because we got SO MUCH of the “plucky new yorkers pull through!” scenes in the Sam Raimi movies.

Preeti: Blehhhhh.

Peter: I DID like this scene. Spidey defeated by a megaphone.

Preeti: HE’S SO GOOD WHEN HE IS SPIDEY.
It makes me even angrier that Peter is so ANGSTY.

Peter: And Gwen when she’s webbed to the car and she yells “PETER!” I love that.

Preeti: That’s because Emma stone is charming.

Peter: She is WALKING CHARM. But she won’t RETURN MY LETTERS whyyyyyy sob.

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Peter: Electro is now OZ GREAT AND TERRIBLE on the side of a building.

Preeti: JUST CLICK YOUR HEELS THREE TIMES.

Peter: It’s good we get the planes and hospital stuff because it’s nice to great a break from the single plotline in the rest of the film.

Preeti: Yeah there wasn’t enough going on.

Peter: See, why doesn’t he just turn into non-corporeal LIGHTNING and kill Spidey instantly?

Preeti: TOO EASY.

Peter: Also, Spidey’s COSTUME isn’t electricity proof, how come Electro breathes electricity on him and he doesn’t just have a heart attack.

Preeti: Spidey strength?
I love this whole fight scene though

Peter: “I must taunt him with a spider themed song.” He took a crash course in super villain at Ravencroft.
I do too! It doesn’t make a ton of sense but it’s COOL and FUN

Preeti: ITS MY CHOICE SO I CHOOSE TO DIE — GWEN STACY

Peter: You think they REALLY got Denis Leary, or just manipulate images of him from the last movie.

Preeti: I would bet really? What the hell else is he doing haha.

Peter: “hey Denis leary wanna eat this week”

Preeti: THIS IS WHAT I WANT FROM MY SPIDEY MOVIE.
This awesome fighting.

Peter: It’s FANTASTIC fighting. Imagine this with a HUGE psycho Venom, as a fight scene.

Preeti: RIGHT but not relegated to being a tiny portion of the movie.

Peter: And now Darth Vader grabs electro and throws him into the pit.

Preeti: MAX IT IS YOUR DESTINYYYYYYY.

Peter: This Aunt May scene when she’s all “okay people let’s go!” you are a NURSING STUDENT.

Preeti: Yeah May calm down.
OH GOOD MORE PLOT

Peter: TWO MORE VILLAINS TO GO.
I dug both Goblin AND Rhino, Goblin just needed his OWN FILM.
Rhino was good as a punchline ending to THIS film, though.

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Preeti: KING OBERON ASKS OF YOU.

Peter: HEY HARRY YOU LOOK…YOU LOOK GOOD…
HEY WANNA TALK ABOUT HOW HOT HARRY IS SOME MORE Y/N.

Preeti: NO I WANNA QUOTE SHAKESPEARE BUT I DON’T KNOW ANY OF PUCK’S LINES TBH.

Peter: LORD WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE.
Man, Spidey must regenerate like Wolverine cause DAMN.
I LIKE the close-quarters fight with the Goblin, and Spidey building all these webs around him

Preeti: I know, right.

Peter: This was a TENSE death scene though, wasn’t it? It was INEVITABLE here that Gwen would fall. And then she does.
And the slow motion. And he shoots the web which unfurls into a small hand, REACHING for her. Oh man.

Preeti: Yeah I do like it — I mean it has to be a good Gwen Stacy death scene.

Peter: So well shot and more interesting than “off the side of a bridge.”

Preeti: Awwww I love the comic though. It’s so messed up.
That SNAP.

Peter: I loved it too, but it wouldn’t have made as good a film scene as “inside a clock tower”
Yeah, that snap thump. Just brilliant.

Preeti: Oof she’s already gone. Sorry buddy.

Peter: Ugh more peter crying it’s like jeeze it’s just the dead love of your life what’s the angst for sheesh RIGHT.

Preeti: THIS MIGHT BE THE ONLY APPROPRIATE BIT.

Peter: Shooting a death scene with his ACTUAL REAL LIFE girlfriend seems like it would be both weird and kinda rough, to be honest.
The funeral was just a quick scene, but I love the season-changing shots of Peter just…there.

Preeti: Yeah I actually don’t love watching IRL couples act.
Weirds me out

Peter: It depends on WHAT they’re acting in. It can be distracting and tedious. I didn’t mind it here.

Preeti: I cannot believe how long this movie is.

Peter: These scenes, where he’s grief-stricken and moping around miserably, he ACTUALLY looks thirty.

Preeti: Yeah definitely not 18.

Peter: It’s long because it KNOWS it needs to be a trilogy, dammit.
Shadowy hat-dude sounds like Al Pacino or something.
“I wanna keep it small. I want SIX of them. Make them SINISTER.”

Preeti: JUST WHY WHY SO MANY SCENES AND PLOTS WHY.

Peter: “Russian human cartoon has broken out”

Preeti: This movie is never going to end I am going to live my whole life while this movie plays on forever.

Peter: I wish we could get a single superhero series of movies with a cohesive over-arcing plot over a BUNCH of films, Harry Potter or Hunger Games style.

Preeti: I WISH.

Peter: Oh stop complaining we only have three hours to go.
Look, it’s shorter than THE HOBBIT so STOP IT.
I can defend anything now with “it’s shorter than The Hobbit”

Preeti: IT MAKES THE SAME AMOUNT OF SENSE, THAT IS TO SAY NONE.

Peter: I like the Hobbit movies! I mean, they’re rubbish but they’re kinda fun.
They’re releasing extended editions though which I assume happen IN REAL TIME though.

Preeti: Ooommmgggg I am not watching those with you I can’t oh nooo.

Peter: I LOVE LOVE LOVE this ending scene. The random Rhino attack. The little boy with his spidey costume just GETS TO ME SO MUCH.

Preeti: But I wanted it to be over an hour agooooo.

Peter: We’ll watch TERRIBLE SUPERHERO movies not the Hobbit, we literally can’t sit that long.

Preeti: Thank god yes,

Peter: It’s ALMOST DONE. And this is a GOOD SCENE. COME ON.
Again, WHY THE HELL are there CROWDS??
They’d all run from a TANK but not a GIANT GUN RHINO?

Preeti: Also REALLY NOT ONE COP WILL GET THAT KID.

Peter: COPS: I’m not getting the kid! It’s dangerous over there!
We really are watching this movie the same way
THIS BIT. SPidey and the boy. It’s just the BEST Spidey kinda scene

Preeti: Hahaha which is so funny bc we have such different opinions.

Peter: We kinda don’t, though. I think it’s as messy and full of holes and weird as you do, I just think it kinda sloppily amounts to a really good spidey film!

Preeti: WHY COULDN’T THAT SPIDEY FIGHT SCENE BE THE WHOLE MOVIE THO

Peter: *Strongbad* IT’S OVERRRRRR

Preeti: It’s just so much angsting. God I hate this movie.

Peter: Okay, NEXT TIME we watch a movie we can BOTH hate so that no one ends frothing with rage alone.

 

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