DOOM Blogs

This post originally appeared on Panels, which is now Book Riot Comics

There are rumors that Doctor Doom is going to be a blogger in Fox’s new Fantastic Four movie. What would that be like, we wondered. Possibly something like this? 

1DOOMBLOGS

Doom has brought more words of glory to your screen, readers.

Word on the street is that the accursed quartet has been speaking to the press about me and my so-called terrorism. Why must I be forced to listen to the self-righteous ramblings of Reed Richards? Who is he to speak to us thus.

Richards stood in front of the crowd of reporters this afternoon, spouting nonsense about laws and truth and action. SILENCE! As if Doom could be cowed by such a paltry thing as laws.

The world will know, readers, that I do this for love. The masses will welcome my rise to power. I will protect them. My Doombots will protect them. Mankind will kneel and weep and thank DOOM.

Richards, do you even realize, you are where you are because I want you to be there? Do you think that DOOM has not created this exact situation. That it is not going exactly as I have planned?

The world tires of you, Richards. You are an irritant. A flea. An outdated and overused meme.

You judge me? You who conspired with Tony Stark (the man is the very definition of selfish).

reed

 

But that is not all I want to talk about, my followers. As always, I know you are waiting for DOOM’S DAILY TAKE.

doomDOOM’S DAILY TAKE on the Fantastically Stupid Four’s Anti-Matter Gun
All I can say is, this gun barely matters, ha! Ha! Doom jokes! But really, the gun is terrible. Do not steal.

doomDOOM’S DAILY TAKE on the iPhone Six plus
This phone is large. And perfect for large, armored hands. Since DOOM has a time platform, he has already had this phone for 2 years. It is outdated.

doomDOOM’S DAILY TAKE on The Hunger Games
Ha! DOOM would win against all tributes! President Snow is an excellent leader. He knows what his people need. DOOM says 4 out of 5 Doom Masks.

doomDOOM’S DAILY TAKE on #GamerGate
Yes continue. This cause is deep and necessary. YOU PLAY GAMES AND DOOM TAKES OVER THE WORLD.

And that is all. Until next time, remember this always:

DOOM IS SUPERIOR.

 

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