How It Feels When Your Ex Publishes a Book

An old flame of mine (and by that I mean the relationship went down in flames, nahmsayin’?) told me a while back (when I was trying to remain friendly with him, how cute was I?) that he was working on a new book. This was my outward reaction:

But this was how I felt inside:

I mean, why should it matter to me either way, right? I’ve moved on.

However, I recently heard that his book actually is getting published soon.
My new internal reaction was a bit like this.

And maybe a little bit like this:

Now, I know I should just be cool about the whole thing.

But I’m actually sort of dreading the book’s release.

It’s not that I don’t wish him well.

It’s just that I kiiinda don’t want to hear or see anything about it.

Especially because my own writing experience is feeling a bit like this:

Like, I don’t think I can handle it if he wins a Pulitzer or something.

I’m sure I’ll take the high road, though. Maybe I’ll even give him a call to congratulate him.

And we’ll get a celebratory drink.

Because I’m not bitter! I swear!

But…I might make myself feel better by giving his book one star on Goodreads.

Just kidding!

No, really, it’s aaaaall good.

THE END
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