As the East Coast buckles down for what forecasters are calling a “Frankenstorm,” I thought I would help you get ready for the long hours without power that are being predicted for much of the northeastern United States. I am providing this public service for you, the reader, because the typical hurricane preparedness lists out there ignore the needs of readers and the books that they hold dear. After consulting a self-proclaimed hurricane expert (my boyfriend), I present you with these tips for making it through the next few days.
If a hurricane is likely in the area, readers should:
- Proceed to the liquor store and purchase the entire stock of your favorite adult beverage and fill a cooler with reading snacks, preferably salty and fried things. It is going to be rough, so you might as well indulge a bit.
- Purchase a large, gasoline-powered generator so that ereaders, mp3 players, and phones can be charged and loaded with appropriate reading material.
- Call, text, or tweet book club members to figure out who has the best book/booze/snack stash. Casually mention your generator.
- Choose a few big books to throw at potential looters or moochers that want in on your generator to charge their ereaders.
- Make sure all of your reading material is off the floor, next to your favorite reading spot. Have a water-resistant book bag at the ready in case your living room furniture begins to float.
- Have access to a number of alternate light sources, which may include book lights, flashlights, and/or candles. Be careful, however, when turning pages next to an open flame.
- Dress in layers, cuddle under a warm blanket, and remember the roof is the best place for helicopters to find you if you need to be rescued at some point later on.
- In the event you are forced to flee your home, do so with as many books as you can. Pack your books in water-tight containers labeled with your name, address, and hope for their safe return.