Twitter is full of the pitch-perfect accounts of fictional characters (if you’re not following @God_Damn_Batman, for example, you lose). But there are some glaring gaps in the representation of some of our favorite book-based fictional females- characters who would be oh so, so very, veryveryvery good at tweeting. Here are a few*:
1. Esther Greenwood from Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar. Sylvia herself has a frickin’ frackin’ amazing account (@itssylviaplath), and we all know that Esther is a semi-autobiographical version of Sylvia. But Esther would continuously tweet about the ennui of Manhattan and getting drunk with people who are prettier than you and the nuances of not blowing your career when all you feel like doing is popping pills and writing The Great American Novel.
2. Jo March from Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women. A budding author who stays up too late, is broke, has interesting philosophical ideas, might be a budding feminist, and digs older men? Yes, please!
3. Rebecca de Winter from Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca. If someone could pull this off, it would be The Best Twitter Thing Of All The Twitter Things. Not only is the character dead, but she has uber-creepy malevolence and, from what we know of her few in-the-flesh scenes in the book, a twisted sense of humor. But she’s also a Lady Who Wants Everyone to Think She’s Normal.
4. Anne Shirley from L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables. Because sometimes you need a good injection of sunshine and rainbows and bosom friends and shimmering trees, etc. (There is an Anne Shirley bot @annshirley_bot who tweets her lines from the books, but I want something more creative. Anne Shirley’s comments on global warming. Politics. 50 Shades of Grey. I need this to happen.)
5. Anna Karenina from Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. “Just waiting for the train.” ‘Nuf said.
What about you, interwebs? What favorite female fictional character of yours are missing from Twitter?
*Some of these characters have had Twitter accounts, but they’re currently inactive and/or…you know…suck.